Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc.
Shyness is most likely to occur...
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Today is the day I change for good
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Well, here I am feeling not so good right now.
I keep giving myself goals where I have to change or I'll just give up. I give up every single time. I havent been on the site for ages because I gave up on it like I do everything else. I have zero confidence and no self esteem. After a bout of overthinking earlier in the week which I do habitually, I spoke to my husband and really messed up cos I dragged up the past. I didnt mean to sound like I was attacking but thats how it came across and we rowed. Today, I decided after an entire lifetime of negativity I am going to be a positive person. A massive goal. I sat down with my husband and promised I will never bring up anything about the past again ( by this I mean little things he has done that I have took on and snowballed into huge problems even if they are not!) I owned up to being the problem and that I believe I can change and I will be the person I really want to be. He told me that over the years (we have been together for 20) he has hidden a lot from me and could not deny that and its all because of the way I react. One thing was something I digged at last week about a wedding of two of his work friends we were invited to years ago but with no confidence I said no I didnt want to go. He asked me but an invite never actually ever appeared. He went because he was a part of it ( a spokesman or something). However, a month later I decided actually I would push myself to go. He said it was too late and that he had told them I did not want to go. I was upset with him last week as I received a wedding invite from my brother who is getting married and so I rubbed it in his face "at least my brother can be bothered to send an invite!" Today, he told me that they had infact sent an invite but he did not give it to me because he knew I would most probably grab hold of it and tear it up in front of him. So, I'm feeling a bit crap at the mo, now being a new positive woman who will not ever bring up the past. This is only just touching on the problem. With no confidence I get jealous if he wants to go out and he resents me because I literally stop him from doing just that. I am a positive thinker as from today and I cant turn back. To anyone else who is experiencing the same kind of overthinking/anxiety/low self esteem/no confidence problem I wish you all the luck in the world. Posted on 10/20/07, 05:10 pm |
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Hi Darlin',
I can VERY much relate to what you are saying here! I think the crash happens when we try to take on too much! I'm SO glad you are taking steps to help control your mind-set because you CAN! Please take great care of yourself and yours! BIG peace to you! Meg 
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I have the same problem. Have you every read "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale. I tried it, I think my effort was kind of short lived for some reason. Now, I'm in counseling. I think Meg has a point, it is hard to keep it up when you try to take on too much at once. I applaud your efforts of positive thinking. There's numerous options to help you along that path - books, self-help stuff, counseling... Just keep trying and if you experience a setback, know that it's not the end and keep trying again. One suggestion I have heard is to write down your negative thoughts and then come up with a more positive response to that and then use those positive responses when the negative thoughts try to come back. I wish you all the luck in the world too.
I also tried something my counselor suggested called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). It did seem to help my feelings some if I keep up at it, as can progressive muscle relaxation or exercise. Here's a link for the Emotional Freedom Technique if you're interested: http://123eft.com/eft-trial.htm
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I also read Norman Vincent Peale's book on Positive Thinking. He also has one called Positive Imaging that I highly recommend.
I like the suggestion of writing things down and thinking of how you would handle it positively. Now don't be hard on yourself if you mess up from time to time. We are only human and we are work in progress.
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Real change can only be accomplished in tiny increments...two steps forward, one step back.
Accomplishing any small goal-- no matter how insignificant it may seem-- is better than failing a lofty one.
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thanks so much guys for all of your your positive replies. I'll be taking on board everything you've all said. Thanks for the tips/books etc.
I am reading The Feel Good Handbook at the mo. Put it down ages ago when it all got too much but just started again and its making me ball my eyes out. Its so 'all about me' its making me realise how much I need to change. And on a positive note...I will! :-)
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