Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Differ...
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First me now her... Its my fault!!
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I was attacked twice by the same person. I have told my parents but my mom said to keep it quite, to her it was something to shove under the rug and forget. I still now struggle everyday with the attacks and at times I just want to die. My attacker still comes around which means I have to face him almost everyday. Well one night my best friend came over to stay and we were sitting out at a bon fire and we both went inside to bed. I went to my room to change and she went to the bathroom. Well she used the downstairs bathroom since it was the closest from just coming in from outside, well later that night while talking before bed, she told me that when she was coming up from downstairs my attacker started touching her downstairs and then followed her up to my room until she ran into my room. when she told me that I just wanted to die!! I knew that my attacker was bad news, I felt so awful that he touched her. When she told me that I broke down crying and apologized but that still will never be enough. I feel as if I had done that to her, I feel so guilty and I just cant do this anymore. I hate him and want him to pay for what he did to her and for making me feel so bad for everything!! I just want to die to make it up to my best friend. My best friend says that she is fine and that she never even thinks about it, she just thought it was kinda weird that he did that to her. She thought that he like her in a crush sort of way. She said that she never thought of it in a bad way. But only if she knew what he is truly like and that the guy is not like the way she thinks he is, only if she knew that if no one was with her, he would of raped her. Ugh I feel so awful, it was bad enough to be raped by him twice but to have him go after my best friend made me feel like I cause it. I cant do it anymore, I cant let him hurt anyone, im gonna tell someone besides my parents even though if they dont kill me, telling someone else will. Im really scared and just need to know what to do from here.
Posted on 07/23/08, 01:07 am |
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First of all, what he did to her was not your fault. WHAT HE DID TO HER WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Oh hunny, I feel so bad for you. I know that things aren't ok. You can't feel guilty though, ok? Guilt isn't going to get you anywhere. I like the strength that I heard, that you were going to fight and turn him in. Good for you, you have my full support. Know that it is not easy, and it takes a brave soul and heart to do it. Also know that you are a brave soul and heart. I thank you for ridding this man of society.
Now that all of that is out of the way, I must ask, how are you? Do you want to talk about what he did to you? I know you feel badly for what he did to your friend, but I don't know how you feel about what he did to you. I am here for you. Are you safe? Can this man still hurt you? I am sorry to hear that you think your life will be endangered for telling, but maybe, just maybe, you might be wrong. You'll never know until you break that silence. I'm in no way forcing you to talk. If you don't want to, I'll support that. But if you do, I'll be here every step of the way. Big hugs. 
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I agree with caringsis.....you should feel no guilt........This awful person has alot to answer for and yes we need to get rid of these people from society......
They are not human they are not even worthy to me to be called animals..... It is hard but you do need to do something.....do not let this continue......don't let him hurt someone else.....once you know it has happened to someone else other that you..........they are sick.....they need help........ I beg you to have the courage to open up to someone........ DO NOT LET THIS EVIL CONTINUE........ i DID AND NOW HAVE TO SUFFER THE GUILT THAT I LET HIM TOUCH MY DAUGHTER... That Please find the courage.....here for you XXXXX
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I agree with others, what he did was not your fault. Abuse is a choice someone committs to do, and that person only is responsible for their own actions. Also, what responsibility you do have, to yourself and for the sakes of others is to report him. I would suggest you tell someone else whats going on, like a counselor or other authorities. I can tell this ordeal is burdening you, and it will keep on until justice is served or better said an attacker is held accountable for their own actions. From my own experiences, I never told anyone, authority wise about my attacker and sexual assault, I kept it all a secret. Later on my attacker sexually assaulted someone else, I felt really bad. That's why scared or not, I believe we as survivors have a responsibility too, to others, for our rights. I know its gotta be hard, but know we all have a choice to do the right thing, and that would be to tell the truth of what happened for the safety of all others. The choice is in our hands. I have been currently struggling with a secret that I have a choice and opportunity to do the right thing by, if not I am victimizing my rights and the rights of others, if that makes sense. My mom sounds like yours, wanting to keep important this like that a secret, and I now understand that that is an old fashion habbit they are used to doing but it is not right. I pray this helped, but most importantly I pray you do the right thing, you're in my prayers.
LOL
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I will say this..it is not your fault!! What this predator did to you and to your friend was and is wrong. The one that should be held responsible for guilt is your mother. He harmed you and instead of facing what he had done because it may be a hard road to take your mother tells you to excuse it. For god sake she is there to protect you and your friend. To allow this person around you or your friends and not do anything is pathetic.
Predators don't stop as long as they get away with it. That is exactly what he did..got away with it!! Shame on your mother! I don't mean to come off so nasty but I would never excuse actions like this upon my daughter!! I am sorry for what happened to you and I am also sorry that your mother told you to sweep this under the rug. I would say this to you, please do not allow yourself or your friends to be around this person ever..if you are strong enough then report him or go and tell someone that will listen!! Huge hugs to you and I am here if you ever need to talk!! With love!!
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I'm so sorry this happened to you. And I'm so sorry that your parents are not protecting you and advocating for you. You deserve to be treated better. Please tell someone else what has happened. A school counselor, a teacher, a neighbor, etc... Keep telling until someone listens and helps you. You deserve to be protected from this horrible person.
Pleasea be gentle with yourself. (((HUG)))
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