Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Differ...
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Co Dependent.
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With everything I have been through, I find it that Im really co dependent. And i think to a degree my boyfriend is too, I know its not a healthy behavior. I have gotten so bad to the point if we go to burger king I need his help in decieding what I should eat @@
I want to build some independence but not hurt my relationship by becoming too independent. I need to learn where I stop and he begins. Ive lost a big part of myself and I want it back. Does anyone know of some steps I can take to being more independent? Anyone else ever have this problem? Posted on 07/15/08, 05:07 pm |
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Panini -
That is very hard but I encourage you to work at seperating yourself and seeing yourself as an individual first. I have been married 2o years+ and it is very hard for me to see myself as a person and her as another person and only by being happy and healthy alone can we be a happy healthy couple. 
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I have this same problem. My bf and I actually discussed this yesterday. We've actually decided to spend less time together b/c we'll be with eachother everyday after work and I'll spend the weekend (Friday - Sunday) at his house. It got to the point where we were loosing a sense of individuality. We did everything together.
I advise that maybe you and your bf have a heart to heart talk discussing the issue. And maybe some space would help (spenidng less time around eachother). This would give you more time to focus on bettering yourself and your bf would be able to do the same. This should in turn help to better ya'll relationship. I'm so glad my bf and I had our heart to heart talk. Hopefully one of these would be as beneficial to you as it was to me. Good luck!!! ((HUGS))
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Thanks so much for the advice.
We have actually talked about it and he thinks space is a good idea as well. Heres the complicated part, we live together and have 2 children together. We did talk about doing things like, id go get my nails done alone and just small things. But heres the problem Im SOOO used to him ( we have spent literally everyday for the past 2 years together he works from home as well) that when I am alone I dont know what to do! Its so bad. I feel kinda stuck :(
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I can imagine how you feel Panini. Just try doing stuff wit other people like friends, relatives, etc. You can even do stuff with the children by yourself. Just take baby steps and eventually you guys would be exactly the way ya'll want to. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
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Thanks for the advice sweetie I appreciate it !!!!! =]
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Co-dependency is a tricky sticky situation to deal with. As you have found. There is a 12-Step program called Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA). I've never personally gone to a CoDA meeting, but I know a lot of people who have and who have gotten a lot of help. Here is the link to their website:
http://www.codependents.org/ Good luck and please be gentle with yourself. (((HUG)))
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I have, I can relate. A good book that might be of help is called "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud. Its excellent
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