Sexual Abuse Support Group

There was recently a post on the discussion board titled "why did i use sex to heal sex" Go back if you can and read the replies.

Many of us have used sex as a means of healing or taking control back from our abuser.

What is normal? If you are enjoying the sex and it is not interfering with your life - enjoy! If on the other hand you are not enjoying it and feel it is controlling your life - see a therapist.

for me having sex with women was my way of convincing myself i was not gay. i was acting out a lot and i think this is very common amoung survivors.

I believe it is normal. Ive experienced it it comes in periods for me. A week or 2 at a time. I think about it all the time and as much as I hate to admit it. I think that I pleasure myself more then my boyfriend does. I think this is a result especially if you have ever found yourself crying during or feeling some sense of shame or guilt or the feeling of being used after. Which happened to me for the first time in a long time the other day.

yeah... i have a high mental sex drive...like really bad..but physically i dont enjoy it much... lucky for me i like girls so i dont really have to get touched to havesex

i dont know your story but i was sexually abused on a daily basis so i was used to at least being touched in a sexual way all the time. i am very physical with my boyfriend and i think that being sexually abused both attracts me and repeals me from being sexual with my bf. on one hand i am repealed because i get flashbacks but on the other i am used to that being my primary means of affection.

acting out maybe.

This is very common for individuals that have been sexually abused. Most people sexually abused either tend to be very sexually active or don't want anything to do with sex.

Being very sexually active is fine as long as it is not interfering with your life. Many that have been abused often find themselves too sexually active trying to find multiple partners..that is when it is harmful. As long as your keeping it within your relationship with your husband than keep doing what your doing. Thank god for my husband! LOL

I remember asking my therapist many years ago why I wanted sex so often after having been abused. He said it is normal for so many people that were abused to become hyper-sexual. Remember as long as it is not harmful to your relationship (seeking out others) than it is fine and yes it is normal for many of us.

With love!

Definitely normal as others have said. I have also met survivors who dislike sex totally, which could be a big relationship problem. As others have said if it is not negatively affecting your relationship and you are enjoying it, keep on - if not see a therapist.

I actually think this was a big problem for me for years, I really felt I should hate sex and thought I must be messed up if I enjoyed it.

Silverstix -

I can really relate to what you have said. I too felt that if I enjoyed sex something was wrong with me. I found being sexually present and open with my wife difficult if not impossible feeling that she was always judging me and that if I wanted to do this or that I was some sort of pervert. But I am learning that is not the case.