Sexual Abuse Support Group

First and for most, make sure you focus on reassuring your daughter that she is NOT the blame for what happened to her, you believe her, love her and that she was brave to tell someone. Then call a therapist or National Child Protection 24hr hotline (1-800-4-A-CHILD) to get your daughter ASAP. The therapist and/or child abuse hotline should also be able to help identify additional resources you may need to start your daughter and yourself on the healing journey. An example for such resources might include legal advice/options and support groups for non-offending parent of a sexual abuse survivor. Depending on your daughter's age the resources might be different.

I realize you might be in a lot of pain and confusion at this moment but your immediate focus should be on your daughter's needs. What you do about the abuser will come from your discussions with you significant other,lawyer,police, spiritual advisor and your daughter's therapist (i don't know if she is a minor)

My prayers will be with your daughter, you and your family. I encourage you to read as much as you can about sexual abuse and talk with a therapist. As a sexual abuse survivor, I can only tell you what I wished my mom would have done for me when I first told her about my abuse. I mistook her shock and anger as a sign that she blamed me or that I had done something wrong. By not talking to me about the abuse or getting me professional help, she further prevented me from healing from a horrific attack of my mind, body and spirit by someone I trusted. Besides the actual abuse, her inaction was definitely the secondary "wound" that inflicted a great amount of pain for me deal with later on as a adult.

Talbot said it all!! Hug to you and your daughter!!

With love!

kill him

I am so sorry for your daughter and you. i would first have your daughter with a counselor and i would definately report him to the local police department. It is very important to make sure your daughters immediate needs are met and that she fully understands that this was not her fault.

I agree with talbot

make sure she understand this is something that was done to her. Make sure she knows you will do everything you can to keep her safe in the future. Get her some counceling to help her get past it.

of course all the things the others said...

The one thing I wish would have happened most is that my family would have talked to me about it... with or without a professional counselor... Their not acknowledging it made me feel like i was to blame.

So all i add is talk talk talk talk

Make sure yourdaughter knows she wasn't responsible. When i told my mom about abuse, she was upset with me for taking so long to tell her and her bad reaction still bothers me (in the middle of the night mostly) to this day. i can just hear her saying "But if you'd told me sooner, it wouldn't have kept happening!" and it was alredy just so hard to tell someone at all.

To get her help: Group therapy. I went to one as a child and it was so healing just being in a room full of other little girls goign through the same thing. Because I knew I didn't blame any of THEM for their abuse, so it helped me to not blame myself. Also, if it's at all possible to get a conviction or file some kind of legal action against him, do it. It may hurt your mother or other family members, but it will let your daughter know that what he did was a crime, that he is the criminal not her, and that you won't let it happen again. It may also help protect other children in your family or in his neighborhood. I really wish my state-appointed attorneys hadn't dropped the case. My molester is still free almost 20 years later and I get sick to my stomach thinking of other children he may have hurt over the years. I'm sorry your family is going through this. *Strength to you both*

Tell her you will respect however she wants to handle the situation and this was absolutely not her fault and that you will make sure she never has to see this man again. She needs to feel loved and safe, protected and stood up for. First and foremost, react out of concern for your daughter. Save your anger for later. The most important thing is HER well-being.

First report it I wish my mom would have when I got the courage to tell her. Then be sure she knows you love her, and support her. Give her the space she needs to deal with this. But don't make her feel as though you don't care. She is going to need to vent her anger. Find her a way to do this, an example that seems to help me with my anger is , get her a tennis racket tell her to imagine her mattress on the bed is the person who hurt her and to beat the hell out of it. When someone told me to try this I thought it was crazy the first time I was like yeah right, but after a few times I was crying and laughing at the same time it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Just to let you know it was a doctor who told me to try this.