Senior Dating & Sexuality Support Group

Hi Clear, just read yer post, hope you are gettingover the seperation by now, remember it was only on a computer screen, not in the flesh. Are ya doin ok now? J.

It is hard because you broke up with someone even if you had not met them in person. You became co-dependent. It is okay you are going to get better. It will take time.
Your post helped me because I could see it developing in myself.
Maybe we need to remember to be balanced and not put our all into someone, even on the computer. Time managment will help. Find some gal friends to do something with and trust me I know that isn't easy because I am looking myself.
Most of the gals I know are married and don't want to take a hike or go to a movie but we can do this just love yourself. It's okay to feel a little sad just don't stay there. shalom

Hi Clear...
wow...I'm amazed at our similar situations! I am 53, divorced after 20 years of marriage (officially it's been four years, separated about six years before that). It's a LONG story, but I totally understand your situation. I had spent some time online playing games, chatting but actually met some of those friends "real world". I agree, it was easy to have a safe and easy community of people available to laugh with when you've had a long or rough day. I don't necessarily consider it a bad thing, and some even used to joke about it being an addiction! My family thought I was going to you-knew-where in a handbasket for awhile, worried that I spent "every waking moment" on the computer.
Since then, and no the computer didn't cause my divorce mom!)I have gotten a college degree, have a good job, and managed to prove to myself that I'm capable of way more than I ever thought. Because of my full time job and my part time school schedule, I didn't have time for a social life online OR anywhere else!! I look at that period of time in my life, during my separation, as a learning experience. Accept it for what it was and move on. SO, how do you break the cycle? Just like how you started... a step at a time. You might decide to limit yourself time online as a "treat". Eventually, as you spent less time online, it will become boring when you are there..not sure if that makes sense. But, I found that as I wasn't in the loop as much, it didn't appeal. Tip number two.. get yourself a really uncomfortable chair at the computer! No kidding... you'll decide you have to go do something else like bake or read! Take a class... if you've always wanted to do something, do it NOW!
The more you are just out and about, the more chances you have to meet new people and possible make new friends.
Believe me, I have days when I come home and say "Ok, it's just you and me again!" to the dog and cat... but at least I'm not sitting at the local bar with my head in a glass of tequila!
I hope this helps!

Dear Clear,

Reaching out to groups in your community may help you heal. Since this is an election year, maybe you can help your favorite candidate or volunteering at your church if you belong to one. There are dozens of volunteer jobs out there. You'll meet real and interesting people.

When we've been in a long term marriage sometimes it can be scary to be alone. I'm here to tell you that learning to live alone can be a growth experience.

A person on the internet can tell you anything. I have an acquintance who met a fellow on-line and they communicated for a year. She was absolutely gaga over him. She lives in my community, lost her head for a time and made the move to Austrialia to meet the "lover of her life." She was in Australia for nearly 5 years and discovered that he was a brutal and controlling man. Her family had to bail her out because she was completely penninless. Her brother paid her way back to come back to the states.

So, please be careful... lots of con artist out there.