Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Support Group

Well, I've always considered myself spiritual rather than religious. There are a LOT of nondenominational churches around now that take away the religious traditions and instead emphasize a relationship with God.

Basically, it comes down to having this really wonderful parent who is always looking out for you, who has so much wisdom and so many resources that, if you let him, he'll make certain that everything turns out for the best.

I've never felt stifled. I have always felt freed by my relationship with God. It was Joyce Meyer's "The Power of Simple Prayer" that finished reprogramming my brain and stopped the rest of the PTSD symptoms. Pretty cool, right?

I wrote about it under a recommendation regarding Joyce Meyer's Ministry. It took some time to work through the book because of the side effects, but then everything clarified towards the end. It was WELL worth the journey.

When I struggle, I struggle with other people's interpretations of the Word. The silliness is that it's just impossible to dictate that one thing is more right than another. I look inside my soul and when it "feels" right, I *know* it as truth.

For example, I struggle when people preach that we should "fear" God. Why should I fear the one person who has taken care of me and the only one who has been a decent parent? Seriously! This is the one person I can trust, count on and truly feel safe with so... what does it really mean? It really means "respect" and that I am SO okay with! Honestly, who else has been half or a tenth or anywhere near as good to me, reliable in advice and protected me so fiercely? Of course I "respect" God!!!

I correct issues like that by simply crossing out the word and replacing it with a synonym. Remember, what we are reading are just translations anyway. People who get stuck on a single word are WAY out of their league and have no hope of understanding the meaning of a passage. I focus on the point of the story and keep in mind that words which were common interpretations previously would be adapted differently today. None of us would want our children to "fear" us, but we do want their respect.

Again along those lines, I think about why and how I would feel that way if I were the parent giving out the commandments. That clarifies EVERYthing for me.*OF COURSE* I want the kids to trust me because I have the wisdom of experience and I want to guide them away from harm. I want them to learn, but with the least pain possible. How much does it break your heart to see a child learn something the hard way despite your warnings? I bet God feels that way when he watches us! I want my kids to "praise" (appreciate) me. It feels so good to hear our hard work acknowledged, to know that what we do makes a difference and to hear our loved ones tell us they not only see what they do for them but they realize it is a blessing and a gift rather than expecting it as an entitlement. We all want appreciation. How much do you blush when someone praises your work? It just leaves you feeling warm and mushy on the inside. Well, if you love God, would you want him to feel just as loved, warm and mushy as you want to feel?

Clearly, I can run that line of thinking for ages. I find it helps to read study books like Joyce Meyer's "The Power of Simple Prayer" because it can guide me through a set of subjects and keep one train of thought. It can also lead me to where I want to focus my study in the Bible. When I read the Bible or any other of these books, I write in them. That shows my RESPECT for their words - I am *so* passionate to understand that I take notes and write down thoughts. It really helps get the point across. For the first time as an adult I read the story of Job and it is NOTHING like what was preached to me. Job whined all kinds of crazy, but God loved him and forgave him and restored him because he had done nothing wrong in the first place. He chastized Job for not trusting him and, then, he praised Elihu who was the one who maintained faith in God the entire time. FYI - Elihu was the youngest by decades!!

I use the portions of Psalms that I highlighted to create my own Psalm, my own prayer (and sometimes I break it into prayerS) to God. I like doing that a lot because I pray back God's Word to him but with my heart and my mind and my choice of emphasis.

Well, there is a lot to share about connecting with God and how to enjoy a successful and healthy relationship. It all comes down to the same things we would and SHOULD do with each other, really. So, I'll leave this post at that and put two snippets of fact in a shorter post. ;^)

Religion has been proven to stimulate the brain and create great healing. The type of religion is generally irrelevant as long as it is respectful of ourselves and our fellow man.

Discussion on religion and spirituality is welcome here and everywhere. Like with any other topic we don't want to participate in, we can simply change the channel or skip the post. That's where etiquette encourages us to properly label our posts for those who might prefer to read something elsewhere. ;-)

Mmmm... I loved that :) I read it twice, it feels so reassuring and comforting :) I feel the same way, especially about "fearing" God. I was always taught to say "Thee" and "Thou" in prayers but ever since I was about 12 I just couldn't.... otherwise it seemed rehearsed and as if I was approaching a scary king - one false move and I was done for. So even though it's discouraged I always say, "Thank YOU for this.." instead of "I Thank THEE" it makes the connection so much more personal, Like I'm actually talking to my Father :) Thanks for taking the time to write all of that - it means so much to me :)

I read your journal and I agree completely. "Religion" can actually push ppl away from God. Especially the churches that make up a bunch of extra rules just for the sake of it. The prob with that is that makes ppl want to rebel and not be close to God or that it seems impossible to live up to. It is truly about a relationship with Jesus that counts. Hands down thats it. All that extra stuff like piercings, a tattoo, and miniscule little things like that truly have nothing to do with the relationship you have with Jesus. He came so that we would be free, not bound in the extra chains of the church.! I loved your journal entry and I totally agree.

Also His grace and His grace alone healed me completely of Complex PTSD in a really short time. I just immersed myself in Him and His word and he began to heal me from the inside out. I actually used to feel that church totally missed the point and hindered my relationship w/Him at times.

{blush}

See, just like that! A little appreciation and I feel tickled and happy and Tigger-like bouncy. :)

What you said, you would LOVE "The Power of Simple Prayer" by Joyce Meyer. You know, she's a survivor of abuse and she clawed her way through all kinds of gunk. She is very honest about where she has failed and how she has overcome it. It's pretty spiffy.

She talks about how she likes to pray laying down on her face, but that her husband just seems like he is looking out the window with his eyes open. She says the "form" of prayer is not as important as opening a dialog with God. When I was really sick, I couldn't clean without going into hysterics. Later, I realized that cleaning was my prayer time and I was so lost in PTSD that it was upsetting to clean and not be able to find that peace. You know, I always like to sing to God. I make up my own songs. I'll use my own tunes or other tunes, particularly nursery rhymes like...

"God is good. God is Great!
God takes problems off my plate.
With a knick-nack paddy-whack he gives my dogs their bones
And makes sure I have a home!"

Lol! That's my prayer for being in my house. Then it gets contagious to "God is great. God is fab. God helps tighten my abs," and other silliness "God is cool. God is rad." I think God likes it best when we are silly and playful. I also realize that I sing when I am most contented. When I studied in Mexico, I hummed while eating my breakfast. My host mom always rewarded me by making my favorite breakfasts because I would always smile and be happy. That was HER reward! :) I also sing to my girls (service dogs) and kids and all the people I have ever really loved. Lol! I guess I can make my life a musical - this from someone who tends to be serious and austere! ;-)

Anyway, just thinking about it has lit me up from the inside and I am smiling ear-to-ear. The best part of getting better? Getting close to God again. You see, your question was how we feel and... my soul feels so free and safe when I am close to God. You know, it's like playing at the park, knowing your parent will run to you if anything goes wrong. It's like feeling that I can fly because the strength of my Father can push me higher on the swing than my feet could ever take me. That's God to me. Just love... pure love and care and protection like we never got from anyone else. A real parent particularly for those of us who had poor ones. How nice to know we have the most generous, strongest, smartest, loving parent looking out for us as if we were his only child, eh?

Hee hee. Your post inspired me, BTB!

ShaN03:

I just remember that religion is man-made.
The spirit is God-made.

We all know that cookies taste good when we bite, but make us feel like crap afterwards. Meanwhile, fresh strawberries cause us to salivate, especially with a drop of honey and we feel even better for hours later. ;)

**I first want to say that I in no way intend to offend anyone. I simply want to share my feelings on this topic from a different perspective. I wish I felt differently, but I don't and for that reason I wanted to respond to this post. Again, it is simply my thoughts and opinions - with no intend to offend anyone.**

bethebest- thank you for starting this post. I have responded to posts in the past regarding faith. I have to admit that my thoughts and feelings have remained the same throughout.

When I was younger I had a child-like belief and faith. I loved Jesus. I didn't know why I loved him, but I did. I guess I loved him because I was told that he loved me, and throughout my childhood I rarely was told I was loved. When ever I was involved in some sort of faith-based activity I was always told how much I was loved and how I was made in his image. Well those were some of the kindest words I had ever heard as a child - so why wouldn't I love Jesus?

I had a horrible home life. I experienced abuse of every kind. As I grew older the tramatic experiences grew. My father was a very abusive, evil man. He was in jail when I was 3 for staging a robbery and stealing all the money in the cash drawer. At five my mother told him she was filing for divorce and then she vanished. I'm not kidding- today, 28 years later she is still listed as a missing person. My father was never convicted of a crime due to the fact that they never found a body. No body = no crime. I was taken away from my father repeatedly for reasons of abuse and neglect - and I was returned to him repeatedly. I grew up bouncing from my father to relatives/friends/neighbors and foster care. All the while I tried to focus on the fact that Jesus loves me. It kept me focusing on doing right rather than wrong. I ALWAYS tried to be the "good kid" so that I could have a home and in hopes that if I was "good enough" someone would want to keep me. Someone might believe I was worthy of love. I was taken in by a family when I was 14, which I was thankful for but I never felt completely accepted. It was very hard living there because they had 2 boys of their own who made it very clear that I was not wanted in their home. I just tried to be good so that I would have a roof over my head and not have to go back to the abuse of my father.

Finally when I graduated from High school I felt freed. Now I was an adult. Now I would be responsible for myself and no one would be able to hurt me again! I was now in control of my own life! Fast forward..... at 21 I'm raped by a cousin. WHAT!!!!!!!!!

I do not struggle with church/religion, but I struggle with faith. I struggle with a god who could call himself loving, kind and merciful and allow such horrible things happen to one of his children. A child who spent her life trying to make good choices despite my horrific life experiences. I remained faithful and prayed night after night for god's mercy to be upon me. Yeah ... I know this is the point at which people tell me that it wasn't god it was free will of man that hurt me. I'm sorry but I don"t buy it. He has the power to create heaven and earth. He has preformed miracles throughout all of history. he has intervened and restored sight to the blind. Why was I not worthy of some sort of intervention? As parents we don't sit back and watch our kids walk in the street to inevitably be hit by a car. We get our butts up in a quick hurry and we remove them from danger. Where was god time after time throughout my childhood? HOw dare he call himself loving/merciful/kind. He sat back and watched his so called beloved child experience horrible things over and over and over. How can I believe in such a god? I believed in him - as the bible tells me I should. I did my part. I believed. I prayed. He did NOTHING. I believe in the existence of god but I do not believe in his goodness. I wish I felt different but I don't.

I believe in right and wrong. I live by those two principles. Yes, they came from god, but I follow those principles because I want to be the best I can be and I want to contribute as much love as I can to this world not hatred. It has nothing to do with any faith in God. I have no fear of hell. I've lived it. I don't believe there is a heaven. This is my life to live and make choices there way I decide to. It's all I have and all I have to offer - period.

I hear people speak of their faith. I wish I could feel that. I wish I could believe that. I wish I could forgive god. But truly I feel as if I am better off not even asking for intervention from him. It is too devastating and painful to hope that things could be different and they are not.

Thank you for listening to me. I do not intend to take away from anyones amazing faith experience. I simply have a very different experience.

**I first want to say that I in no way intend to offend anyone. I simply want to share my feelings on this topic from a different perspective. I wish I felt differently, but I don't and for that reason I wanted to respond to this post. Again, it is simply my thoughts and opinions - with no intend to offend anyone.**

bethebest- thank you for starting this post. I have responded to posts in the past regarding faith. I have to admit that my thoughts and feelings have remained the same throughout.

When I was younger I had a child-like belief and faith. I loved Jesus. I didn't know why I loved him, but I did. I guess I loved him because I was told that he loved me, and throughout my childhood I rarely was told I was loved. When ever I was involved in some sort of faith-based activity I was always told how much I was loved and how I was made in his image. Well those were some of the kindest words I had ever heard as a child - so why wouldn't I love Jesus?

I had a horrible home life. I experienced abuse of every kind. As I grew older the tramatic experiences grew. My father was a very abusive, evil man. He was in jail when I was 3 for staging a robbery and stealing all the money in the cash drawer. At five my mother told him she was filing for divorce and then she vanished. I'm not kidding- today, 28 years later she is still listed as a missing person. My father was never convicted of a crime due to the fact that they never found a body. No body = no crime. I was taken away from my father repeatedly for reasons of abuse and neglect - and I was returned to him repeatedly. I grew up bouncing from my father to relatives/friends/neighbors and foster care. All the while I tried to focus on the fact that Jesus loves me. It kept me focusing on doing right rather than wrong. I ALWAYS tried to be the "good kid" so that I could have a home and in hopes that if I was "good enough" someone would want to keep me. Someone might believe I was worthy of love. I was taken in by a family when I was 14, which I was thankful for but I never felt completely accepted. It was very hard living there because they had 2 boys of their own who made it very clear that I was not wanted in their home. I just tried to be good so that I would have a roof over my head and not have to go back to the abuse of my father.

Finally when I graduated from High school I felt freed. Now I was an adult. Now I would be responsible for myself and no one would be able to hurt me again! I was now in control of my own life! Fast forward..... at 21 I'm raped by a cousin. WHAT!!!!!!!!!

I do not struggle with church/religion, but I struggle with faith. I struggle with a god who could call himself loving, kind and merciful and allow such horrible things happen to one of his children. A child who spent her life trying to make good choices despite my horrific life experiences. I remained faithful and prayed night after night for god's mercy to be upon me. Yeah ... I know this is the point at which people tell me that it wasn't god it was free will of man that hurt me. I'm sorry but I don"t buy it. He has the power to create heaven and earth. He has preformed miracles throughout all of history. he has intervened and restored sight to the blind. Why was I not worthy of some sort of intervention? As parents we don't sit back and watch our kids walk in the street to inevitably be hit by a car. We get our butts up in a quick hurry and we remove them from danger. Where was god time after time throughout my childhood? HOw dare he call himself loving/merciful/kind. He sat back and watched his so called beloved child experience horrible things over and over and over. How can I believe in such a god? I believed in him - as the bible tells me I should. I did my part. I believed. I prayed. He did NOTHING. I believe in the existence of god but I do not believe in his goodness. I wish I felt different but I don't.

I believe in right and wrong. I live by those two principles. Yes, they came from god, but I follow those principles because I want to be the best I can be and I want to contribute as much love as I can to this world not hatred. It has nothing to do with any faith in God. I have no fear of hell. I've lived it. I don't believe there is a heaven. This is my life to live and make choices there way I decide to. It's all I have and all I have to offer - period.

I hear people speak of their faith. I wish I could feel that. I wish I could believe that. I wish I could forgive god. But truly I feel as if I am better off not even asking for intervention from him. It is too devastating and painful to hope that things could be different and they are not.

Thank you for listening to me. I do not intend to take away from anyones amazing faith experience. I simply have a very different experience.

Whoops. Sorry for posting that twice. I believe my soul is honest and true. My soul fights for love and peace, however it has nothing to do with with any religion/faith/ or belief in God. It is simply because I want to offer the world the best I can and encourage peace and love.