Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Support Group

Oh yeah - this is a BIG issue in my family. My dad is the worst, when I go downhill he gets pissed. My mom tells me to get a grip. I think it's because they don't know how to handle it, and want it to go away. If they can't fix it then they want us to because THEY can't deal with it (like WE can? What a joke!).

I have never been able to understand it. I don't know why ANYONE would purposely go through what we do if we could actually stop the process. People really don't think about things too much, I think - it hurts to see someone you love suffer. I used to get so hurt because it sounds like they don't care. Some people don't, others do. How I deal with it is to remind myself that this isn't happening because of something I am responsible for (this took 15 years of therapy by the way) and it's not my problem if other people can't deal with it. My priority is my kids and myself. I have to keep it together for my kids, not my parents or "friends." My real friends are there for me when I'm down and never act like I need to "get over it."

Yeah, I just love the "advice" we're given. This is my special favorite regarding dealing with flashbacks: "Distract yourself by doing something else." Uh, hello? Obviously the wonderfully intuitive person who suggested this has never HAD a flashback...

Anyway - sorry I just went on and on, this is a pet peeve of mine!! Good luck to you, and God Bless!!!

HUGS

I get the same. I want to tell em to go out and have done to them what was done to me and then tell me to get over it. It really gets me when people just don't understand or don't want to understand.

I think it's ignorance. People judge what they don't understand. A lot of people are telling me to live in the now that the things I'm dealing with happened in the past. I'm like, thanks for enlightening me because I had no idea! So, I expend the kind of energy that kind of "support" warrents . . . NONE!

I am totally with you...
I get to hear all the time that I have to move on... what happened in the past, happened and now I have to foucs on my present and my future and I can't let it affect me so much.
When I cry people yell at me, they tell me to stop crying. To be strong. To stop the drama.
No one understands...
I wish they would... I think that some people just don't know how to deal with it, they don't want to think it's serious: like parents.
But then there are people who just think you have an awful disease and you are sick... People tell me they don't know how to deal with me because it seems like I am crazy. I feel they treat me like a nut case. My ex, who broke up with me on Sunday, did it because he said I had too many problems in my life... I was sick and I needed to be alone to get it together. He needs a break from me because my situation is overwhelming, is too much for him and I clearly need to get my back life in track.
He said he'd be my friend... yeah right? He wouldn't care when we dated, why would he now that we aren't!
THis is just a lone disease...
I had a hard time dealing with it! But I understood that I have to do this myself... my first love is there for me, thank GOd, he just supports me and listens and then I don't talk to my parents about it, I don't expect them to understand.
and friends, I realized that at this age, who I thought were my friends think I am too sick and too boring...

Yes I get that alot. Its kind of like they want you to forget it and move on. Well we are trying to. Flashbacks are god awfull for me. I started to cry and then hyperventilate. I get told I am crazy alot or get treated like I am a leper. I didn't ask for the things that were done to me. I really don't think people could actually survive some of the things that we have been through. That makes us stronger than what they are because we are survivors. People think that its in the past and that is where we leave it. I wish that was the truth. Some of the things we have been through in the past is what has helped to shape us into what we are. So if they think that we can just forget about it, its like forgeting to get dressed in the morning or forgetting or kids. No some people don't want to try to deal with us or help us because they don't understand what it is like. Our true friends do and are there for us no matter what

I don't think anyone who doesn't have PTSD can understand it. It's like trying to explain what ultraviolet light looks like. Butterflies can see it, but we can't, and no amount of explaining will show it to us, even if we really, really want to see it.

I try to simply be thankful that they *haven't* had experiences that make them understand. I wouldn't wish those things on anyone.


I'm trying right now to determine what keeps some things in the present for me, while other memories slide into the past... but that's a theory for a different post.

I'm really sorry that you CAN understand PTSD, but I'm glad you found DS. Hugs to you.

Blessings,
Wistala

Oh, I forgot to mention:

There's a book by that title "I Can't Get Over It." I saw it the other day on Amazon and it had really good reviews. Has anyone read it?

My parents are the absolute worst also. Especially when it comes to stuff they did when I was a child. It is never how I remember it, they would never do anything like that, or I just don't know what I am talking about. It frustrates me beyond belief, now I have just gotten to the point where their opinions don't matter. They wont take the time to understand me why should I take the time to explain it. I have to do whatever it takes to make me better and surrounding myself with positive friends and people who may not understand but are willing to walk beside me through it has become my focus. My partner, my sisters and a handfull of best friends have been amazing threw it all.

My mom always tells me to just get over it. Or, "If I were you, I would just think about something else." Riiiiight...because she or anybody else knows what they would do if they were me?! Drives me crazy!

Telling someone with PTSD or depression or something to "just get over it" is like telling someone with high blood pressure to get over it. You can't. If people could just snap out of it one day, don't you think they would? Don't you think that there would be no need for medication or counselors or anything?

Happens all the time. Completely not dealing with it. In fact other peoples comments have such an effect on me that I want to give up on life