Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Instead of negotiation & fairness, accepting change and compromise, the abuser uses threats & coercion.

Instead of a non-threatening behavior, talking so you feel safe and comfortable expressing yourself, the abuser uses intimidation, making you feel afraid, may smash things, abuse pets or anything you care about.

Instead of economic partnership, making money decisions together, making sure both benefit from the financial arrangement, the abuser uses privilege, treating you like a servant, making all the important decisions, telling you what to do.

Instead of treating you with respect, listening non-judgmentally, being affirming and understanding, the abuser uses emotional abuse, putting you down, making you feel bad or guilty, calling names, making you think you're crazy.

Instead of shared responsibility, making family decisions together, mutually agreeing on a shared work distribution, the abuser uses economic abuse, preventing you from getting a job, asking you for money, giving you an allowance, not letting you know or have access to family income.

Instead of trust and support, respecting your right to your own feelings, friends, opinions, the abuser controls with isolation, telling you what to do, read, go, think and limits outside involvement.

Instead of responsible parenting, being a positive, non-violent role model, the abuser uses the children, making you feel guilty about the children, using the children to relay messages, threatening to take the children away.

Instead of honesty & accountability, admitting to being wrong, communicating openly and truthfully, the abuser minimizes, denies, blames, makes light of the abuse, shifts responsibility for the abusive behavior saying you caused it.
Posted on 10/08/08, 05:10 am