Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Hi ---

Please hang tough.

You are not a bad person.

You are not crazy.

It is not your fault.

-----

I talked to Patricia Evans.

I asked her why she titled her first book
the Verbally Abusive Relationship, when verbal abuse is just one kind of abuse. She said the publisher picked that titled, probably because there were other titles using emotional abuse.

Anyway, I'm sorry for what you're going through. Please stay stuck together. Good therapists who really get emotionally abuse are few and far between. The ones you describe in your post, don't get it. Don't stay with them.

Your focus is best served directed at you and your kids. Choose carefully, where you invest your energy. Please take care of yourself.

Ilene

Thanks. I was hoping for a day of calm with my parents leaving and my husband going back to work- and I end up with 3 kids home sick! Oh, well, at least my parents and husband are not here!

I am going to call Patricia Evans tomorrow.

My husband is also becoming an alcoholic- maybe already is one. The past couple of weeks he has been drinking like a fish.

Thats insane! For your husband to say that to your kids is completely rediculous, and abusive! I mean thats something that no kid should ever hear.
As for the other stuff, i dont know your whole story. But my prayers are with you, and i do not think your crazy. I think your situation may be crazy, but not you.

Gosh, I had an awful experience with my first husband and a therapist. Same thing, if I was a better wife, then he would not be so mean and this was coming from a woman!!! Needless to say, I dropped her and him like a bad habit. I am currently seeing a therapist as an incident has brought back some old feelings about when I was physically abused. I didn't think that I could talk to a man, but it was wonderful. There was something comforting about an educated man agreeing with my feelings. I would not go to couple's counseling, only an individual therapist and check out their specialities. I wish you the best of luck and will keep you in my thoughts. I know what a difficult thing that you are going thru. I wish you peace and comfort.

Wow, what a horrible situation. You are not crazy and your husband is an abuser. Get the parents OUT, and do what you have to to preserve your self.

You are a unique and special human being who deserves unconditional and peaceful love. Patricia Evans is a god send and I can't beleive therapists are not familiar with her work.

I went to a therapist who saw me and my ex. I was "luckY' enough to have him attack me verbally in front of her and she called it emotional abuse. That was a lightbulb moment that saved my soul.

Hugs to you for your pain my friend.

oh my...hang in there hun!!! HE is unbelievable!! His own flesh and blood...what makes them think they can do that? My HE said that he lived with an abusive father and would never do what he did to him..WRONG...HE does it!!! Oh I hope you have a better day...hey amanda has a great recipe for CHILI....we could put HIM in his place really soon...stay strong and positive!!!

*hugs* I am so sorry, hun. That is just terrible.

May I suggest something? I like that you're telling yourself you're not a bad person, because you're not. But the statement will hold even more power for you if you change it from a negative to a positive. Try saying "I am a good person" or even "I am a wonderful person." Then it becomes a true affirmation. We attract what we think about, therefore it's important to try and focus on the positive as much as possible. I'm glad that you are nurturing yourself in this way, though. Another good one is, "I have a wonderful power." (Especially when you are feeling tired or afraid.)

When you look for a therapist, it may be a good idea to ask them a few questions before scheduling an appointment. Ask them if they are familiar with Patricia Evans. Ask them what their feelings are about emotional abuse and/or if they've ever counseled someone who's been emotionally abused. No sense wasting time or money on anyone who's not a good fit for you. I hope you find one who IS a perfect fit and who can give you the help you need.

A prayer for you: Heavenly Father, please be with Cibolo. Please heal her, Father. Please give her peace. Please help her to endure everything she is going through. Please help her to find a way out. Please create a way where there seems to be no way. Please deliver her and her children from abuse, Lord. Please watch over them, guide them, and protect them. I ask you to do these things that they might come to know and see your love for them. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

*hugs*

I have abusive parents and husband too. I didn't think counsellors are supposed to tell you what to do, they are supposed to help you come to your own conclusions. Mine empathises with me and doesn't judge. I have had to find lots of ones though before I found this one. You sound like me that you need to be at the stage where it doesn't matter what others say to you, it will go straight over your head. I am not at that stage yet but thats where I would like to be