Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) or is unlawful or wrongful....
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The Abusive Man-Watch out!
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I'm trying to generate a list of RED FLAGS to help us identify control freaks and abusers so WE can stay away from them and form better communication and healthier relationships. So, here's what's you have to answer:
1. Describe 3 qualities of the abuser when you FIRST met him. For those abused by non-spouse or other family members, describe their 3 qualities as perceived by the outsider. 2. Name one red flag you noticied but ignored BEFORE you married him. Fro those abused by non-spouses, name one red flag which was the starting point. 3. Name TWO things which you SHOULD have discussed with him before you married the abuser, which you clearly did NOT, but should be discussed be any potential life partner. (someone told me this is a really good indicator of identifying abuse and exposing someone's true personality depending on how they answer/respond to you) I'll start: 1. qualities on first date: charming, handsome, educated 2. Red-flags: Money-minded 3. 2 things I should've discussed before marriage: Long-term career goals and finances. Posted on 06/02/08, 03:06 am |
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1.handsome, protective, charming
2.controling, angry 3.my career plans and children 
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OK i didn't marry mine but i will try this...handsome, protective, charming
2 bad temper, was always in jail first year (for fighting), drinking alot 3 what he truly thinks of women, and where he see's us going.
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I'm seeing a pattern here.
Are most "handsome, charming" men abusive? And if so, is it because they have an ego and are full of themselves? Would we give ourselves these qualities too on the first date, like "pretty, charming?" Does that mean we ignored the ugly boy next-door who would've truly respected us and treated us really well or went for infatuation and did not bring what is important to the "core" of a relationship because it was the first time someone "loved" us (i.e. discussing future plans are, children, our career plans, finances, etc because we were 100% "sure" we had met the perfect person because we felt "loved"? Please everyone keep answering #1,2,3....we may be on to something!
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1. He was charming, educated, and had good career.
2. red flags- looked down on family and friends 3. Things that should've been discussed was financial goals and other that I'm not sure- we talked about kids, career, religion and the like.
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I think they're charming till they reel you in, then 'charming' is intermittent. Also, it seems men think it is weak to seek counseling.
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Another huge thing I noticed about my man was that he constantly berated his mother; he seemed to hate her, although he obediently did what she wanted him to do at all times.
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1. handsome, educated, funny
2. sceamed at me for talking to a guy (he said i was flirting) 3. why exactly he was marrying me .. haha sounds bad but from the get go i was wondering if he really loved me or if he just didnt wanna be alone.
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oh here you go, heres a HUGE warning sign i ignored.i knew he slapped his ex across the face (he says she slapped his face first)
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I wish we can get passed the sexism.there are woman who are very abusive also.
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I was with my ex for 5 years and lived with him, but I had not married him yet.
1. charming, overly confident, protective 2. Red flags: his confidence was truly arrogance, his protectiveness was controllingness, and his need to be right ALL the time 3. I can't answer this because I didn't marry him. I was in the process of discussing scenarios with him about marriage. It was frightening me what I was finding. For ex, he told me that he would be the one to decide when/where we moved because he made more money than me. He was wanting us to move even farther away from my family!
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