Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Wow, that's scary, did I write that? It almost seems that way. I have had nightmares about what my dad's done to me for years, and when I don't have nightmares I'm not sleeping so I've developed a terrible insomnia. I know what you are dealing with. If I could give you advice it would be to take sleeping medicine, which doesn't work for me it keeps me awake but a lot of people have had luck sleeping without remembering their dreams. I have my wonderful bf of two years, but your just starting out with your guy. I was scared of getting hurt to. I was so freaked out because I was thinking all guys are the same, even though I grew up around them and had only guys for friends. I was scared to be alone with a guy, and naturally that strained out relationship. YOu can't live behind your walls you've built up. I know I couldn't and finally didn't have to anymore. When the time is right and you are in a better place the walls will crumble and you will be comfortable being close to this guy who cares about you. If anyone on here could tell you how to heal we all wouldn't be here. The healing will come after the walls are broken down. When you build up defenses like that it takes a long time to trust and to allow someone to get close enough to love you, but that also means close enough to hurt you so you have to trust them. Take your time, no one is pushing you and sooner than you think you will be out in the open air without a wall or so much as a brick in sight. Best of luck to you and I sincerely hope that you are about to stop those nightmares and heal from your pain. This guy, if he is worth it will wait till you are ready to be close to him. Never underestimate the power of love even from just a friend, he may surprise you. :) Take care
Audrey

I'm sorry you are having such a painful time. That is so tough. The obvious answer would be to go to therapy to work through this. That is a very healthy and strong thing to do. It will help you through this. The other suggestion is to write out your feelings, keep talking them through with your boyfriend or others you trust, and feel your feelings. Acknowledge what you are feeling and going through. It is tough, but give yourself that permission to heal and be kind to yourself.

Take care hon. I hope this helps. Big hugs!
Amanda

Hey Girl,

You had written to me in your last "hug" something about wanting to be yourself, but at the same time, not sure how to when all this stuff has happened to you, and you are carrying it around, and people don't know about it. Well, I thought about that, and your experiences are a part of your life, but they don't have to define you. Keep working on finding that beautiful girl that you are, face what has happened to you, and grieve your pain from it. In time, you will be stronger, and able to help others who have been through what you have. In the meantime, hopefully there are some friends and/or therapist/counselor you can trust to talk about what you have been through. It takes time to heal, and it is okay to talk about it, even though it has been two years. Sometimes I feel like a broken record, with some of my friends, but they have mostly been very understanding, and I can see where I am working slowly through it all. God bless...and don't feel badly about running away and all that...maybe you should just be friends with guys instead of trying date them at this point.

Hey Girl,

You had written to me in your last "hug" something about wanting to be yourself, but at the same time, not sure how to when all this stuff has happened to you, and you are carrying it around, and people don't know about it. Well, I thought about that, and your experiences are a part of your life, but they don't have to define you. Keep working on finding that beautiful girl that you are, face what has happened to you, and grieve your pain from it. In time, you will be stronger, and able to help others who have been through what you have. In the meantime, hopefully there are some friends and/or therapist/counselor you can trust to talk about what you have been through. It takes time to heal, and it is okay to talk about it, even though it has been two years. Sometimes I feel like a broken record, with some of my friends, but they have mostly been very understanding, and I can see where I am working slowly through it all. God bless...and don't feel badly about running away and all that...maybe you should just be friends with guys instead of trying date them at this point.

You are suffering from post traumatic stress and my guess is that you need a trained therapist to help you deal with this. This will help you not be triggered by what reminds you of your past abuse and there may be skills you can learn to help you with other things.

As your reactions are so strong, it is best that you deal with this soon, with the help of a therapist who will show you how.