Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) or is unlawful or wrongful....
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Just Checking in. Hoping for Support
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I have doing o.k. today. Just a little anxious. I have finished changing locks, at least the ones I can't disable, or where there is no outside screen door to lock.
On a previous blog, I was talking about my conditioned responses. I had another one last night. The mother of my daughter's friend, who I don't really know very well, came around unexpectedly. I didn't know who it was, so was so scared, I hid and didn't answer the door. It all got sorted out later though. I think he may be trying to contact my daughter (who is 15) on her cell. I told him not to phone the house anymore if he took off, which he did. She said she had a phone call earlier today from a number she didn't recognize. On one hand, this may be a good sign for her, but I guess I don't trust it. I don't want him phoning her for information, or trying to get a sense of what has, or what has not been happening in this house (i.e. all the worry, and upset he has caused because I think he gets a thrill out of that). Posted on 05/16/08, 10:05 pm |
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I don’t feel up to it, at least not today. I phoned the police and a local women’s’ shelter earlier today, so I feel good about that. But, I’m not ready to talk to him. It could go two ways, either he’ll pick up and use it as an opportunity to blast me with relatives in the background (good for his ego), or he’ll let the voice mail pick it up.
Writing something and emailing it would be tricky. When he leaves, he doesn’t say where he is. He has quite a few relatives and he could be at anyone one of them. When he returns, he always makes sure I have no clue where he is. I don’t know his email at work. I could email one of his relatives, but I don’t think it would be very appropriate, and I know, if I did, he would hit the roof. May be I can call on the cell phone, when I pluck up enough courage, and hope the voice mail picks up. I have taken a lot of steps, but this one is seems too scary right now. 
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Hazi: My daughter says she has sent a text to him in the past. She says she can show me how to do it. Problem is isn't that letting him know he can also reach me by text? I don't want him sweet-talking is way back into the relationship, or more likely, giving him an open avenue for "mind games."
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Maybe you can rehearse the phone call with somebody?
Failing being able to get your courage up, could you get somebody to leave a message for you, maybe someone from the shelter. That might evem be preferable. I'm sorry to hear how fearful you are of him. It is making you run away and avoid dealing with what I think needs dealing with before he gets back or there will be crunch time when he comes knocking at your (his?) door. Who owns the house by the way? Could be relevant. The legal, shelter and police advice may be relevant here. By the way, I just got confused before because I realised there was stuff going on I didn't know about or factored in. Such as the dominance of your avoidance response as I now realise from the other topic you started on this. I hope you are getting psychological support.
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Monday afternoon if he is open.
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This is a long dialogue that I just previewed, but I think a certified letter from a lawyer will serve as well as anything else, and give a copy to the police.
Don't let your daughter speak with him and change her phone # if you have to. i worry that if you send him a text, you'll be open game for all kinds of harrassment. And I wouldn't give him a heads up on any of the money handling. He's so used to doing this to you that he probably checks the accounts regualarly anyway. But, I'm a bit confused on this. Your married, he's on the run and very unpredictable? You need some protection with a lawyer and don't forget to notify the school.
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