Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) or is unlawful or wrongful....
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I miss his family
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After being with my ex for 5 years I have really gotten to know his family and I miss them. Is it a god idea to remain in contact with them? Just wondering.
Jessie Posted on 05/16/08, 02:05 am |
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I do not see why it would hurt to stay in touch with the family as long as they do not put you down or put all the blame on you. Just because two people can't get along, doesn't mean the whole family and you can't get along. 
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Personally I have chosen not to stay in touch. It is painful for me awkward because he is living at his mothers and all i want to do is bad mouth him which is not fair on them.
His mother said she would like to stay in touch and if I remarry she would like to attend but I cant help thinking I will fairly soon just be a distant memory to them
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Everyone's situation is different. when my ex & I broke up, his family couldnt let me go, i had a hard time letting them go. It was more devastating for me, they attempted to bring us back together, he'd continue to abuse. I finally after a year of being on an emotional rollercoaster again asked them to please let me move on, That has been 2 months. It hurts like hell because they were my only family. Now I think they hate me. OH Well. I had to do what was best for my own mental health. I would suggest if you remain in touch. Make sure its from a comfortable distance. I know it hurts, it's just another loss in life. hugs
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How long has it been since you left your ex? It is worth considering that they have already made their choice about who they choose to remain close to especially since it sounds like maybe they have not contacted you either.
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I speak to stbx family when I see them, I do not go out of my way to do so. Blood is thicker than water.
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I was with my ex for 5 years as well. I like most of his family a lot. But, it would be too painful for me to see them and talk to them. I wouldn't want to hear about him, what he is doing, who he is with, etc... Plus I don't want him knowing my business. Do you really miss his family or is it just a connection to him. If you truly miss them and had a healthy relationship with them and they want to sincerely help you get over the abuse, then talk to them on occasion. It is up to each person. Just becareful you don't get sucked back in to your abuser.
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I separated Nov 2006, in December 2007 (over a year later) stbx asked via email for my address and that of my three brothers, so he could send Xmas cards
it felt really weird to me, I didn't send the addresses to him. I figured he could have gotten from our shared address book before he left, as he did with other addresses, or called my Dad, I know he had my Dad's number, looked them up in the phone book I guess I'm just saying everyone feels differently about this, so you may need to play it by ear, and be prepared to be rebuffed by your ex's family
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