Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) or is u...
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he attacked me again..
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i gave birth to my daughter on the 5th of may and he seemed to have changed for the better he really did but my the 4th day he had me by the throat as i had mentioned i would like her to have my last name big no no he said it had to be his and if mine was there there would big trouble. he told his mum that i was being heartless and trying to cut them all out to which she now is a bit of with me and that was hurtful as i like his mum and we get on great in fact i get on better with his mum than him!
on the 6th day he accused me of going into my sons round from the bath naked and sitting on his carpet!!! and i said yeah sure i abuse my son as its not the first time and he had me by the throat choking me i nearly passed out he threw me to the floor while still on my neck and picked this piece of wood up his mum had come round and pulled him away i went into the bathroom as i was still losing blood and the way he had threw me about i was leaking went through my clothes. he followed me and asked what i was doing so i told him and he denied throwing me to the floor i went downstairs and outside for a smoke and he followed staring an evil stare then asked if i need help as im sick in the head i said no your the one that needs help and he dragged me back into the house threatened to kill me and i said go on i'll do it myself so he dragged me up stairs and chucked me a knife daring me to do it well all the presure and everything i thought ok so i started hacking at my wrist he grabbed it off me and threatened to stab me with it and i said no and he punched my hand. he later came back as i could hear his mum as she had come back and then his mama. he said have a rest as your stressed. 5 mins later he goes baby needs changing i would do it but havent got a strong stomach!!!! the following day he brought up when i went out one night its a year ago the only night i went out and started saying he knows i slept around. weve had this conversation 100s of times so i said fine im a whore to which he called me a fat whore then he said he wasnt calling me fat. then the other night his brother was round and normally i get accused of eyeing him up well he made a fat joke i was sorting the baby out and didnt really hear it proberly so i said it doesnt matter to which later i got told off for making him look like a fool as he stuck up for me and i said it didnt matter which made it look like he was bothered about what i look like and hes not. so i had to say sorry. he wont leave properly hes forever hugging me and kissing me i said to him how can he kick off at me the way he does then be loving the next minute. i told him i feel trapped with him and that im not happy but im staying there(my house not his) and that he will proberly end up killing me he didnt like that!!! Posted on 05/14/08, 12:05 pm |
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This sounds like a tale from dantes hell??
I can't believe you are having to go through all this..having just given birth..and also in a home that belongs to you? he is mentally, emotionally and physically abusing you..and its getting very out of control, and it sounds like there is a very real and serious possibility you might goad him into killing you, if you're not careful... I hope you can step back from him, and stop responding to his verbal abuse, like responding with things like 'fine I'm a whore and yeah sure I abuse my son and saying fine I will kill myself, and then self mutilating..is all buying into his very sick behaviour. I'm not at all saying its your fault, but that I would like to hear that you don't give anything he says that is abusive, any credance by responding to it.. The fact that he will 'probably end up killing you' isn't something to take lightly..You have a newborn who needs you, and a man who sounds seriously disturbed, and the situation between you both sounds absoloutely dangerous. If you can stand back, away from it somehow, and resolve to call the police, the very next time he threatens to lay his hands on you to choke you, or throw you on the floor, or threatens to stab you...I wish you had already, as the next time could be too late?.. If the house is yours, can you not insist he goes, having treated you the way he has been?.. I would visit the police, and tell them how he has been behaving right now.. Please re-read your statement..'he will proberly end up killing me' And please get some help... 
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When he becomes abusive, don't fight with him, put your energy into getting out of that house (at least temporarily) with your baby. I am afraid for your life, and I am afraid for your baby. This man sounds extremely dangerous.
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I agree with these women. Your life seems to be in danger. You need to contact the police and a trusted friend or family member, get your baby and get out now. You must think of your child. Keep us posted.
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Enough already You need to go to the police.
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Go to the police! Tell them of what has happened!! If you have to temporarily go to a battered woman's shelter, they will let you bring your baby wtih you. They will protect you from this man until he is out of the picture.
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This is your house right? You own it? Honey call the police, tell them everything you just told us. Get a restraining order and they can forcibly remove him from your house. Do it now. You life is in danger, and quite probably the life of your child as well.
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Call the cops!!! At least your children will someday have clear documentation of why they found your dead body!
This is so sad... here you are a new mom, recovering from childbirth.. what a **** he is. I sent mine to jail a couple of weeks ago.. It was over something less injurous than a few previous incidents.. but he had been Warned. I TOLD him repeatedly, when he looked like he was about to 'start up', that If he EVER touched me again.. I'd call em. I did. It felt great... and.. I haven't had nearly as much trouble out of him since.! I also take my camcorder around with me alot! (but of course, I don't have little ones to tote anymore, so have 'free hands!) He tried to shut it, knock it out of my hand.. but he got used to it. I told him since he says "I" start it.. that I'm "documenting" just to see if he's right. (Narccist.) Grr. (Couseling continues today,, Round2) Again.. CALL THE POLICE!!
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gema24, how are you going?
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I hate to say this, but everyone here is right. I know that you feel like things are complicated by the fact that you need to remove him from your house. While it would be much easier to just walk away, it is not as impossible as you might think. Perhaps all you need is a little change in perspective, and you cannot do it where you are.
Right now he has beaten you so far down it is hard to see the bigger picture. First, you DO have a life worth living. I sense you are seriously depressed, both through being battered and the post-partum kind. You need help and insight into what he is doing to you AND to your children. I shudder to think what would happen to them if he succeeds in killing you. While you may own your house, it is far from being a home right now. It is full of hateful and spiteful abuse. It houses horrific memories. A home is your sanctuary, a place you go to be safe and secure, not a place where you are in constant fear for your life. In a way, this almost can make you getting away from this monster easier. If you detatch the word "home" from the dwelling place, it just becomes a piece of real estate that you can do what you want with. If you move to another place, you can sell it or rent it out. If you move out and he stays, you can either charge rent or have him evicted (wouldn't that be fun). You DO need to go to the police. He has to be held accountable for what he has done for you. You may get on great with his mother, but it disturbs me that she seemingly stands by and wathches her son do these things to you without intervening. Is she also a target of his abuse? Does he mistreat her as well? If so, then the two of you could band together to effect an escape from him. If not, why has she not come forward as an advocate for you?
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Gema,PLEASE LISTEN TO THESE WOMEN...get out before it's too late.The fact that you would start hacking your own arm shows that he has you to the point that you are not thinking clearly. Where would your children be if he DOES kill you...or YOU feel that death is the only escape from him?His control is so great over you that you are willing to die yourself,rather than evict him?!!! I have been to the point that I was beaten down and prayed for death,but you need to take control of your own life,for your sake,and the sake of your children.It was the hardest thing I ever had to do,to actually call the police and have my ex hauled out.He wrecked my home,told me he was going to have my children taken,etc.(ALL AS A CONTROL MOTIVE)but I finally called.The first time he went into a mental facility for 48 hours,the second for 72 hours and the third and final time,the cops hauled him out,in the winter,stripped down to underwear(he had a history of running away)and he was locked up in county jail,has over 5,000 fines and a serious restraining order.You CAN be free of it.It's a scary thing,I know that you must have split emotions about arresting the father of your child,but this behavior is very,very dangerous.You cannot be expected to endure it anymore.Contact your local women's advocate/shelter and get yourself to a safe place.You will look back on this one day and be glad that you did. Hugs!
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