Phobia Support Group

I guess I'm the same way. Too laid back. Don't want to start an arguement.

Haha, I wish I was more like you. I think I have to opposite problem- I love drama and confrontation waaaay too much. I like to start things with people if they piss me off.

There's nothing wrong with not liking confrontation- it comes off as polite, whereas I come off as ride and disrespectful a lot of the time.

One thing you might want to consider in some situations that need confrontation is exactly what you are scared might happen if you confront someone. Are you afraid of hurting someone's feelings, or that someone will hurt yours? A lot of the time, this comes from the fear that people won't like you anymore if you tell them what you need.

Say for example you are in a resteraunt and you didn't get what you ordered. Do you confront the waitress and tell her you asked for something different, or do you just eat what's in front of you? A lot of people are scared the waitress will get mad at them and say nothing. Now consider two different scenarios. Pretend you are at a resteraunt and someone at a different table nicely calls the waitress over and politely says that their order is wrong. What happens normally? The waitress apoligizes and brings the person back what they wanted and everyone keeps eating. Sometimes the person even gets their meal for free. Do you look at that person and think badly of them? Unless they got up and screamed at the waitress, most likely not. Now, imagine you were the waitress. If someone ordered food and you made a mistake and they nicely told you that this wasn't what they ordered, would you think badly of them? Or would you feel bad that you screwed up and try to rectify the situation?

There is a middle ground between being a doormat who won't confront anyone and me, drama to the rama central. You can stand up for yourself in a nice but firm way. You get the wrong order at a resteraunt? No, don't yell at the waitress and demand free food. Be nice, call her/him over and politely say, "This dish looks good, however, I ordered something else." No hurt feelings, nobody's mad. Someone offends you with a comment? You don't have to start a fight and yell at them back- you can nicely say, "I was very hurt by that comment."

i'm like that too, especially at work because everybody just hates me, i keep my mouth sealed

i have trouble with confrontation too. you are not alone.

I am the same way. I avoid confrontation as much as possible. If someone wrongs me I will usually keep it to myself. I have alot of cousins who are the total opposite and it seems that drama follows them where ever their at. The only way I say what I feel is if I am in a bad mood and dont care, and that is very rare. I am an easy going person who likes to keep peace at all times.

yup i'm the same way. and i sweat buckets and shake. its not a good combination all i can see is something terrible and violent coming from a confrontation.

i fear confrontation too. like instead of quitting a job i just wontshow up because i fear the confrontation