What is Pet Bereavement

The loss of a pet or a non-human animal to which one has become emotionally bonded can be an intense loss, comparable with the death of a loved one. Whilst there is strong evidence...

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Having difficulties coping - recent loss
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I'm new here. Just going through a rough patch in life. Started with my wife's miscarriage a month ago. A week later my parent's (married 31 years) seperated because of my dad's doing. Left with a very upset mother. Then 2 days ago my best four legged friend, Howie, unexpectedly passed away. He was only 6 years old. A Rott/Lab mix. I spent the whole night with him as he detiorated. Had gotten him to our vet that previous night and was given a couple shots and pills because it seemed like an upset stomach. But through the night he got worse and worse, and almost became zombie-like. By the time morning came and I was anxiously waiting for the vet to open back up, he walked out to the backyard laid under a tree and passed away. Within 12 hours I had a very healthy happy dog then he was gone. The vet did an autopsy that night and found out he had an undetectable tumor in his GI tract that grew very large, then burst and poisoned him from within.
So now I'm back at work. My wife and I leave for a (previously) much-anticipated vacation to Yellowstone tomorrow. We're leaving behind another dog, and now we're not in the least bit excited about this trip. I'm still really torn up about the loss of Howie (on top of all our other misfortunes). I can't get the images out of my mind of him suffering those last 12 hours and me unable to help him. I've treated him like a king while I had him, and now I feel like I've failed him. I miss him so much. When will this pain go away? What can I do to stay strong and enjoy our trip? I was the strong one for my wife, mom and sister during our previous issues. But this one has given me more than I feel I can handle. I miss my buddy so much. I really leaned on him for comfort while times were tough.
Posted on 05/30/08, 12:05 pm
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Reply #1 - 05/30/08  1:14pm
" That's so freaking sad. I am so sorry. I had to watch my dog deteriote in front of me too overnight. I still blame myself. Though you know if there was anything else we could have done, we surely would have done it. Try to remember that Howie knew he was loved. "
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Reply #2 - 05/30/08  1:26pm
" Thanks iwonde. It would frequently creep in my mind that one day Howie would be gone. And eventually my other dog, Paco, will be gone. But I thought I had at least a few more years before I had to worry about that. I just need for this horrible feeling to go away so that I can focus in on what remains in my life, and look back on him with happy memories. I know he would want us to have a good time viewing wildlife in Yellowstone, as he loved to watch wildlife on our TV at home as well as visit the Clydesdales that live near our home. Phew...I hate this. "
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Reply #3 - 05/30/08  9:07pm
" Very sorry to hear about your loss...I just lost my 11 year old baby...cancer...we found out the day of...she was in bad shape...it seemed like it all happened over night as well. I can't get over it...my daughter drops food on the floor for my Rizpah still not understanding and I break down. Just remember that when your sweet Howie was here physically with you he didn't want you to be sad, he comforted you. He still doesn't want you to be sad. It's good that you are going on this trip. Would Howie have wanted you to be at home moping over him...no ways!!! "All the animals except man know that principal business of life is to enjoy it!"- Samuel Butler I suggest you pick up the book The Loss of a Pet by Wallace Sife I am sorry for your misfortunes... "
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Reply #4 - 05/30/08  9:09pm
" Another thing...regarding the age...he was way too young...Rizpah was eleven and I felt she was way to young...you are NEVER prepared for the loss. "
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Reply #5 - 06/08/08  10:59pm
" We just got back from our bittersweet trip. I felt a lot of guilt, "wonder-why", and sadness. We're back home and its tough to face life without Howie. But, admittedly, its better than it was. Time heals, but its no magic pill. Howie meant so much to us, like I know that everyone's pet means so much to them. Everyone out there that is feeling down...know you are not alone, know that it gets better and takes time, know that your pet loved you and knew you loved him/her. You'll get through this. And don't feel like you should get through it faster and easier because your loved one is an animal and not a person. That animal was likely more loyal and loving than most people. You and I will both find a better place in life. "
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Reply #6 - 06/09/08  1:31am
" Thank you, LivingInSTL!
Thanks for your kind words of hope. "
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