Pancreatic cancer (also called cancer of the pancreas) is represented by the growth of a malignant tumour within the small pancreas organ. Each year about 31,000 individuals in the...
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Back in Dec. my Mother in law was dignoised with pancreatic cancer, I was with her, when the Doc gave her the news, it had aleady spread and there was nothing that they could do for her. She does not have any daughters just sons, they love her but are afraind to ask certain things so they get me too. She too has had a rough time of getting info from her previous doc and has ask me to ask them, she has since been release to hospice and has better doc. now but I have had to ask questions that were hard. I am just the in law I felt so awkward. Her sons wanted me to ask her what colar? She wanted me to ask the doc how much time? And the list goes on. I have been very close to her too. I feel like I am loosing a mother not a mother in law, I did not want to ask theese questions. I am having a hard time with all of this too. I am tired. This is moving so fast we have been told she probally don't have but a few more weeks. It seems like we just found out. Well we did right before Christmas. It is just hard to believe.
Posted on 02/14/08, 01:02 pm |
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I was my mother-in-laws caregiver, did meds, went to the doctor appts, etc. When we got the original diagnosis, we weren't really ready to hear all the details. So the next week, I wrote a list of all the questions we had and gave it to the nurse for the doctor to go over when we saw him. The nurse was kind enough to get the answers and then she sat down with me and went over them, then I could discuss with my mother in law and other family members. And they could read the answers themselves. 
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I am so sorry about your mother-in-law and sorry this is all falling on you. Sometimes you think that men should be the strong ones and they are not especially when it comes to their mother. Try to do the best you can and chrissy07 advise is good advice. I hope you have the strength to get through this. It will be extremely hard. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Yes, I understand what you are going through. I did this with my husband. This is a nasty cancer! I found that the doctors will answer your questions but usually don't volunteer any extra information unless you ask. Early on, I was asking all the questions, like how long will he live, and always getting devastating answers. As time went on, I learned to read between the lines of what they were saying. In a lot of ways, this is probably harder on you because you have to support your mother-in-law, as well as her sons. I think writing down the questions is a good idea. It would also probably help if someone was with you each time you saw a doctor.
Please let me know if you ever want to 'talk'. I've been where you are and it's not easy. Shelly
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Hi, I sense you are having a very difficult time right now and it is not easy for you at this time. It is OK to feel like you do.
I have pancreatic cancer myself and I am on hospice. I encourage you to find support of others including family and friends and any support groups that may be available in your community. Your Mother-In-Law's hospice nurse or social worker may have information on that to share. It is important to ask questions when you are ready to ask them. I did- on my own illness. It was not easy-and part of me did not want to know the answers-but now I do and can plan. So-seek support of others as well as people here on this support forum. f you have a faith-also seek support from those of the faith community you may belong to. Hugs of understanding. Art
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