Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized b...
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I'm so sick of this!
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I can't take this anymore. i've had ocd for so long. it started when i was 10 years old. i'm 17 now. i've been to therapy. been on medication. everything. i stopped the medication and therapy because i was just sick of it. i finally got rid of it on my own for a while. i just had to make myself stop and it worked. but it keeps coming back! how is it coming back? if i stopped it before for so long and felt just fine why do i have to do rituals and everything now? it seems like it wouldn't come back. its taking over my life. i have to light my cigarettes 5-10 times. i avoid numbers like 3,6,7. when i turn the computer monitor off i have to do it a number of times until it feels just right. i have to open and close things a number of times. wash my hands over and over not because i don't feel like they're clean but because i just feel like something bad will happen if i don't. like if i don't do rituals i feel like my relationship with my boyfriend will go bad. something bad will happen to my mom or someone in my family or myself. when i pray i have to repeat myself. i can't turn the tv off until whoever is on tv says something that is good. i've started to just get people in my house to do things for me. they understand because i've had it so long and my sister has it a little. but i still feel bad for getting them to do things for me so i can avoid it. i could literally go on all night about the things i do. it seems like i could just completely stop if i wanted to. i'm trying to just tell myself no and not do it. its working some but not as much as i would like it to. whatttt can i do?! i think i'm gunna go crazy.
Posted on 09/12/07, 03:09 am |
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What about the medicine and therapy were you sick of? Does it necessarily have to be that way again? 
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well..i was sick of the medicine because it literally made me..well mean. it made me feel like i didn't care about anyone. i was just evil when i was taking it so i told my mom i didn't wanna be on it anymore. and the therapy. well there was a few reasons why i went to therapy. one for staying out of school to much and not wanting to go because of my ocd. and i went for panic attacks too. it seemed like everytime i went they didn't have much to say about my ocd they mainly wanted to talk about how i needed to go to school and everything so i got tired of it. i figured if they're not gunna help me with my ocd then i can only help myself. which worked for a while.
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I think you should talk to your dr about trying a new med. Did you ever tell them about how the other med was making you feel? I know how you feel about therapy. When I was about your age I hated it too. I felt like the therapist treated me like a child instead of a patient. I almost got into a fist fight with one of them! You can't try to beat this on your own....that in itself is putting so much pressure on you. You sound a lot like me in the sense that you feel that if you don't do things a certain way something bad will happen and it will be all your fault. You have to stop yourself from thinking like that (easier said than done, I know) You can't live your life thinking about all of the what if's out there....If you need anything please don't hesitate to ask. You will get thru this and I am here to help!
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thanks it really means alot to me that i have people to talk to that knows exactly how i feel.
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Have you ever gone into the OCD website you should talk with your parents there are intensive treatment programs which may be beneficial to you. I wish I could be there to help you.
Liz
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Let me tell you something. I had ocd when I was a kid. When I was young I had to touch my stuffed animals until I got that "just right" feeling and then I could go to sleep. And then...when I got a little older...(teens)...I had to flip my light switch on and off for that "feeling"..because I thoght I would not wake up in the morning if I didn't do it "just right'...I would check ovens .. etc. Well, it went away. I know totally weird...for YEARS!! It was gone. It stopped when my sister and my mom just started laughing at me when I was switching the light off...and guess what...I thought it was fucking funny too! so I stopped. Now .. I am almost 40..I have anxiety...but not "ocd"..but I have had a few panic attacks and I am afraid to drive over freeway overpasses. So it is there .. it is just in a different capacity...but .. my poor little 9 year old has ocd. So sad. I can't tell you what to do .. but maybe if you step outside yourself and look at what you are doing and see it for what it is then that can help. I mean YOU know that if YOU don't do these things all will be fine. You control the thought...do NOT let the thought control you...but realistically it can't cause it doesn't have a brain!
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Hi, sorry you are feeling so bad right now. One thing about getting off your meds (cold turkey) Your OCD can come back like it never has before. Here is my best advice for you. Only go to a therapist and Doctor that has treated OCD patients. I would also recommend going to the OCD conference . You will meet others that have the same problems and you will meet the best Therapists in the country there to help you find the proper help. Just hang in there and things will get better. I promise.
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My therapist used hypnotherapy and it helped with the checking and counting. Still have a few quirks, but the anxiety is gone and I don't feel there will be awful consequences if I don't do the rituals. Still wash my hands obssessively but I look at it as just taking precautions. Don't believe I'll get hepatitis if I don't wash my hands.
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Welcome to the wonderful of OCD!!!
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Hi there, I just want to say that what you are feeling right now is totally normal. Mine flared when I was 13 and by 19 I was a disaster: drinking to try to make it go away, having flare ups and just wanting to be unconscious it hurt so bad. And then I wasn't even attempting CBT, so it's good you already are. Sad as it is, as you grow older you find different ways to deal with it and some things get easier. It's a hard condition to accept. I'm still struggling with the fact that I'll have this the rest of my life. I hope you feel better. Sleep, eat well, and get out of your routine by doing something new if you can; those are my suggestions for flare ups. You'll get through this. E-mail me if you need to.
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