What is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder OCD
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized b...
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So I am struggling once again about something that bothers me. I dont have time to get into details, but my boyfriends sister was young when she passed away. She was in her thirties. I ocd it everytime I think of her.
See here is my prob. I am a jealous person unfortunately and along with that I have insecurities. Rog and his sister were very close in age and when he talked about her one time, I got jealous. From then on I had horrible insulting thoughts in my head. I dont want these thoughts in my head. The thing is that the ocd is having a field day bc I will never ever be able to tell if she and I would have been friends. Or would I have been a jealous gf of how close they are and I would never have that bong they share. I hear stories of when they were younger and the ocd kicks up or jealousy or whatever. I will never know and I want to see what she looked like and also here stories about them growing up, but I know that the ocd will be right there. Posted on 10/09/08, 10:10 am |
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What do you consider "ocd"? Are you spending like an hour obsessing over her a day or are you just worrying that you might not be as close to him as she was?
I mean, she was his younger sister. I don't know how close you two are or how long you've been together. I'm just trying to give you one angle of looking at it. Nobody will ever replace his sister. That's not a position you should be vying for. 
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Remember, if it's your OCD telling you these things, it's a lie. You might have a twinge of jealousy about her, but OCD will make it a mountain. Besides, she will never take him away from you, will she? Nor, I suspect, would she want to. And you can't hate someone you never knew. So, more proof that you OCD is making you believe falsehoods. Keep trying to expose yourself to these jealous feelings so they become less and less important.
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I have obsessed over her weekly for over a year now. These thoughts are just ones that pop into my brain and I get anxious and have to do something to prove the thought not true or else I feel hguilty.
No I wouldnt want to take him away from her ever. We have been together almost 2 years. I have ocd'd about her close to that. maybe 1.5 year. I think I am looking at it as a girl being closer to him than me. I dont ever want him to forget her. If another girl that wasnt his sister was close to him and had memories they talked about and he felt closer to her in some ways that is my insecurities. I think the ocd is taking this and mixing everything up.
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I would want her and my relationship to be close. I would want us to talk on the phone, make fun of Rog, and just be close. I dont want the competition jealousy thing. I will never know now. There is something that kind of makes me relate this to something that happened.
Rog is a Godparent of one of his ex's children. He loves him and I have met his ex and her son and her husband. I was jealous of course bc Rog would go to her house and go to the store with her and him. I ended up meeting her and hung out with them. Rog made sure I knew and still know there is nothing to worry about. So one night we were hanging out with them and she and I went to get dinner. We were at the store and Rog wanted a soda, so I went to get a liter and she said no, he likes this and got the Gulpie. So here is that jealousy reaction. I was upset, but I got over it. I told him and he explained that he would get one of those when he visited them. So that is how she knew. I obviouly looked at it as his ex knows him better than me. So I dont want that worry with his sister who I will never know. I dont wish bad upon his ex so why would I get these things in my head with his sister. It is just distressing bc it makes me feel bad and fuels the compulsions bc she isnt here for me to find out if we would be friends. I am just having a tough time with this and it wont go away.
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oh man
i think ive had something like this. i have had oc about a possibly dying relative...Close to me and very old now.She was in hospital and i had difficulty seeing her b/c i had the pure o and was imagining that i might have a horrible thought of her there and what if she passed away later that day,the last time i saw her thinking something horrible.that guilt copuld haunt me forever since there wd be no way to "fix it"? I wd have sent her off with something so wretched...even now that makes me nervous.I did the ocd talk"its only my ocd" which helped but it was hard becuase it was life /death situation.anyway ,i made it thru and it came out ok. and yet to this day i have to tell remind myself of ocd when i think of her or talk on phone.Yea it s pure ocd and from what i know is that we have to get above the ocd circle ..see it separate from us...watch it..know it is ocd. u cannot behurt because its already over..we with oc live in past or future...fearing the present silence in away. But this present is our gateway to actual peacefulness.i have to let go of wont,dont,cant..tell yrself it will go away..it DOES. remind yrself how strong,enduring, u are,have been .u will get past this just like other oc in past...ok ..
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Your OCD will just accuse you of being guilty(of being jealous or how can you think that way of someone that died). Learn to ignore what I call the "Marcia Clark" aka prosecuting attorney in the head that will always accuse you of something wrong(you can tell from what era my OCD first started).
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