Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized b...
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Hi! My name is Maradith. I have dealt with obsessive thoughts off and on for years. This time it is kicking my butt! I had a panic attack about a week ago and I remember thinking "I can't handle this!" and then I remember thinking that since I thought "I can't handle this!" does that mean I am suicidal? More panic! Now the thought won't leave and it is tormenting me! Let me clarify that I don't WANT to kill myself. I have a great life, kids I want to see grow up,and a lot of things I want to do in my life. Maybe I just associated that hopeless feeling with being bad or something. Does anyone else deal with this? How do you deal with it? I am going to see a counselor tomorrow. I am really nervous about talking to her about it because I am afraid she will think I really do want to do this horrible thing. I had a psychiatrist once who made that assumption and put me in the hospital and that didn't help my fears at all, it just reinforced them! I don't want a repeat of that! Any advice on how to bring this across? By the way, I take Celexa, which I have been taking for years. I had tried to cut back on it recently which didn't work =)! I also take Ativan as needed, which helps. I hate to take it though because of the fear that I'll become addicted. Sorry this was so long, but thanks for reading! P.S. No scary stories please! I don't think I could take that just now =)!
Posted on 07/20/08, 01:07 pm |
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Obsession over harming oneself (or others) is a common OCD symptom. These are not acted upon by the OCD sufferer but instead cause anxiety and distress.
I've had the obsession you mention and once you realize it's just garbage in the brain things get better. You will learn not to take these thoughts seriously and to detach yourself from them. I hope your counseling session goes well. 
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Everyone I know goes through a time where they think they cant handle it, no that does not mean you are suicidal. It is just the stress building up to the point where you doubt yourself. When that happens I listen to Tibetan Meditation Music to calm my nerves, and reflect on happier times in my life. Eventually you may actually calm down enough to deal with the big stress when it happens. I hope this helps you get through the tough times.
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