What is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder OCD

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized b...

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Discussion:
Marriage and OCD
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I have been having this dilemma for the past 7 years. I still love my Ex Fiance and she still loves me but everytime I think I am ready to make the final steps and ask her to marry me for real, I am attacked by doubts that I will cheat on her or be miserable with her. These thoughts made me leave her 3 years ago but i have never been able to get over her and I find myself giving myself and her hope again. I am terrified of taking us down the road again to only freak out and leave her again. I am begining to think that I might need to force myself through the marriage despite the OCD and just accept the fact that it is OCD that is giving me thouse doubts. It's become so hard to tell what are real marriage concerns and what is OCD that I am terrified to take both of us down that road again and not be able to go through it.

Does this make any sense to anyone. Anyone been able to get through it?

Thanks
B
Posted on 06/08/08, 12:06 pm
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Reply #1 - 06/08/08  12:29pm
" If its just the ocd talking and you don't in your heart think that you will hurt her cheat on her.You should at least try.Im sure your leaving her hurt her alot.So it might not be what you exactly want.Please don't let this ocd monster take your whole life make you unhappy.Love is once in a lifetime and its precious.What im trying to say is if its just a fear i know its hard but push it away.If in your heart you only would want to be with her and wouldn't cheat on her then there is nothing to be scared about.Ocd does alot of things but it cant make you cheat.At least i don't think so.Good luck "
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Reply #2 - 06/08/08  12:47pm
" It makes loads of sense to me. I think I sabotaged sooo many relationships because I just couldn't handle the tangled mess that relationships usually are. I mean, you have to want the mess, you know? I really think I'd go talk to a counselor who is experienced in OCD (like go out of your way to find one with experience) and try to work this out. When it comes to marriage, I think you have to have some level of comfort and security going in. But a counselor can also help you weed out what is just your anxiety and what is a real concern and get to the bottom of things. Then maybe at least you'd have some sense of what to do. I hope this helped. "
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Reply #3 - 06/08/08  6:20pm
" Thanks! Helps a lot and you nailed it. I know I have some valid concerns but where do the concerns end and OCD begins. I am going to talk to my therapist about it "
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Reply #4 - 06/08/08  11:16pm
" Go marry the girl!! Best Wishes! "
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Reply #5 - 06/09/08  1:25am
" It's been my experience that if your brain spins on this or you feel an increase in physical anxiety symptoms it's probably your OCD. In fact in a book I am reading right now there is someone that had the exact same obsession. In any case, verify this through your therapist. Good luck! "
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Reply #6 - 06/09/08  10:31pm
" It makes total sense, I almost let my OCD ruin my relationship a few times with my now husband before we got married. Marriage is stressful for people who don't have OCD, and then to deal with that big change with the disorder is even tougher. I was on prozac during the engagement which helped me, and therapy. And instead of letting the disorder win and be self distructive I held on, and got through it! My husband is very understanding because I'm open about my disorder and we have been happily married for 3 1/2 years! It can be a wonderful thing and I hate to think how close I came to passing this up. "
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