Obesity Support Group

Hi. You look beautiful - you sound like you need to build your confidence up. Loads of people like bigger women but I think this is more about you liking yourself.

I hope you find peace with yourself and everything else will fall into place. x

I've been very heavy all my life and I've found that there really ARE men who like you for who you are, not what you are (or aren't).
Take a chance.. never be sorry for not having stepped out and allowed yourself to risk an adventure. There are good guys around and if you take your time and listen with an open mind you'll find some sweet guys to date. Fear holds us back from some of life's great joys! Go for it!!!

You need to let how you feel down along with your displeasure of yourself. You sound like a wonderful, beautiful person. There are men out there that like bigger woman and some men that just don't care. Trust me I married one and have a great relationship though I am with you and not pleased with myself my husband loes me. You will find your soulmate and appearances will not matter. Hang in there.

there are plenty of people who don't care if you're obese or not. i almost want to be offended at your "who wants to date an obese chick?" comment because even though you're afraid of being judged for being obese, you are already judging yourself and the obese chick community by having it set in your mind that no one wants to date us.

i'm 17, obese and i've had the same boyfriend for almost 2 years. it's all about how you feel about yourself and how you open up to others.

you don't have to walk around the rest of your life feeling ugly because you're so not! you're beautiful. you can love yourself and embrace your body.

It so a myth that obese women cannot or do not date. Let me tell you honey I am 30 and have been obeses since the end of highschool. I have never gone more than 3 months without a steady boyfriend. And stop thinking yeah I bet they were all dogs, because let me tell you obese women can date nice looking men. I have dated a lot of nice looking men including a PSU football player and an ESPN radio announcer and behind the scenes editor. Not that it matters what a person looks like, but I am tring to get you to understand that not everyone is superficial and looks at looks.

It really is all about how you see yourself. If you see your self beautiful other people will too. If you have confidence in yourself other people will too.

YOU my dear are a BEAUTIFUL girl and yes your are big, but who the hell cares. Go out and live life so you do not regret anything later. Do not just stand on the sidelines and watch others live their lives, go out and live yours too. You are in a whole new environemt at a new school, now is the time to reinvent the new you and be proud and act like the gorgeous beautiful woman you are.

LOL ok the lecture is over, sorry guess your post hit a nerve with me. But seriously you are beautiful and there is a guy out there for you. Look at yourself in a postive light and others will too. I promise you!

wow,
I thought I was the only one who felt this way....you described me to a tee. I think you are a very pretty girl and there are guys out there who will like you for you, but I know how you feel, and you are not alone!!!!

It is hard, I didnt find a BF til I was 22 and there is a lot of social pressure. I saw my friends go out drinking and then sleeping with men and the next morning they would moan about how the men were not very nice and they felt ill and didnt enjoy it and I didnt have too much sympathy TBH. I am glad I waited and did not have the bad experiences they had. You need to be patient firstly, I found that my BF only came long when I was not obsessively looking for a man. Also, how can someone else love you when you don't love yourself? If I were you I would work on gaining self esteem and forget about men for the time being. I think it is not your weight it is your self esteem that is the problem. I think you need to figure out what is causing this low self esteem and try and deal with it, and it will be hard work. But if you do that you will be more attractive since you will be more confident and happier.

Like jessi I also think that your 'who wants to date an obese chick?' comment is offensive since by that you are not only judging yourself but all obese women. I think what upset me is that you dn't just say 'I think I am ugly because I am obese', you tar us all with the same brush and imply we are all ugly and nobody wants to date a fat girl which I can tell you is plain wrong. Maybe you need to examine yourself and your feelings about fat ladies before coming on a site like this and making that sort of comment.

For the record, I am fat and have been happy with my BF for four years and counting. So theres one guy who wants to date an obese chick.

First off beauty comes in many varying sizes. A true beauty has love for self and others first. What I see of you on the outside is a very attractive young lady. That being said, here comes the hard part. You have to learn to trust that others are not complete idiots.

I have been in similiar situations as you. I would go to parties and hear that I was cute (mind you puppies are cute)and I would never believe that any attractive man would want anything to do with me. If they did it was to win a bet, or see if they could get with the "fat chick" because they think you are an easy mark. Been there!

I'm now 40 and have learned that I am just me. This is a very very difficult thing to do. I still have my issues when attractive men tell me anything. I guess I just don't think of myself that way.

Oddly, I had a very dear friend tell me I was beautiful the other day. I honestly think it was the first time I believed it. I believed it because I realized that what I had to offer was more than a preconcieved idea of what someone thought beauty should be. He accepts me for "me".

Good luck in your struggle. I will leave you with a simple thought. If everyone in the world looked the same..wouldn't we be living in Stepford?

Love your curves girl, trust me..men do too.

i am married, but i can tell you this girl...lots of men like us bigger women, i dont know why they would, but like the saying goes..more cushion for the pushin lol

have more confidence in yourself, weight doesnt determine somebodys beauty. i saw your pic..you are beautiful!

Hi Verb. Thanks for your very honest post. I'd be lying if I said I never felt the way you do. When I was 19 years old (19 years ago), I was very insecure about myself. I had a boyfriend but it was a bad relationship and I stayed in it for 7 years because I didn't think anyone else would want me. I've always been known as a fun and funny person, someone who makes everyone feel comfortable and someone who is a really good friend. I went through many years being the "good friend" to lots of guys but nobody wanted to date me and that did a number on my self esteem. I kept asking myself why didn't I measure up and decided it must be my weight, and it caused me to shy away from guys who were actually interested in me - I mean, why would they want me when nobody else did? Now that I am 19 years older (which blows my mind, where did the time go? LOL!), I've experienced a lot of things over the years which helped me grow into a strong woman with a much stronger self image, and I truly love who I am and what I'm doing with my life. I hope you do decide to give your digits out to some lucky guys when you're ready to date. Because it's not just about what they think of you, it's also about what you think of THEM and if they measure up to YOU!!!