Obesity Support Group

You can always vent here. I wish I had some magic words to make you feel better, because for who knows what reason - some people feel the need to comment on our weight or the pms thing. I will never understand that, and I would be so embarrassed if I accidentally said something that came out the wrong way and insulted someone's size. Those were really thoughtless comments.

If something like that happened to me, I would be just as upset as you. I hurt for you from those comments. It is good for you to vent like that. Sometimes it helps sort out your feelings. Are you and your dad doing ok now?

I think, for your own mental wellness, you should tell your dad how you feel. You are an adult and you shouldn't have to tolerate comments like this. Maybe, he doesn't realize what an ass he is being. I used to have to check my dad at the door all the time. But now, he's gone and i'll never be able to tell him my feelings again. I think, you'd all be happier if you were on the same page and honest with eachother about your feelings. I think he'll respect you more for standing up for yourself too.

Just an idea.

You have such a right to be mad and upset and hurt. It is so hard to be on cloud nine from a good comment and to be brought back down with stupid inconsiderate comments is really hard to take. You can always vent here, that is the nice thing and we at DS are always here for each other.

Try talking to your dad, chances are him being a man he does not even realize he screwed up. If you talk to him he might change and you will feel better for clearing the air and standing up for yourself.

I have to add to this, just because fathers have a way of completely being clueless about their daughters. (Well I personally think it's a male/female thing). I also think it's a generaltional thing as well. I have no idea how old your father is but, I think this is fair to say it works for people over 60.

My father will sit and rant and rave about how this one looks like this, and how this person is doing this but, then he either does the same thing or makes some odd comment to me. For instance: He hates when people turn around in my driveway; but he goes up the street and turns around in the empty lot..that is also someone's private property.

However, in defense of my father while the man pisses me off to no end; he always does come up with the stupidist over sipmplfied profetic things sometimes.

I think it's rude for anyone to shove anything in anyone's face. Your mother should have said something about his attitude but, as women I think we all just pass them off as idiots.

I guess the whole PMS comment is to be expected, because once again men have no clue. Honestly, why do you think women are always left to clean up everything...we are the stronger of the sex. Seriously, think about it...when a man gets sick what do they do? They whine and expect everyone to take care of them...GOD spare us..could you even deal with them if they had to deal with PMS?

My suggestion, find interesting comebacks. Improve your vocabulary. (Don't laugh). Apparently you are dealing with people who, well chose to express themselves with a redneck mentality..learn vocabulary and learn to insult them with obscure words. Leave them wondering what you said.

What does this solve? 1. You get smarter and improve your vocabulary. 2. You actually better yourself because you got one up on them.
3. You would make a rockin Jeparody contestant when you are done.

Please smile. Don't let anyone steal your thunder girl. The whole self-esteem thing has to come from within.

Oh..vent away...

I think men are wired differently and don't have the same thought processes as women. My husband says hurtful things all the time and he just sees it as talking straight and telling it how he sees things. Don't take it to heart - its what you think and feel that counts - at the end of the day you are the only one that you can count on and you have to be your best friend. Look into your heart and hold your feelings close. You'll always have friends and support here. x

I have to say something here. I think that your dad said is wrong and you need to tell him. I don't think he can be excused for saying rude and nasty comments because he is a man. Everyone should be polite and kind to others whatever their gender. Yes men and women differ in some ways but you shouldn't let men get away with things like this. If someone says something hurtful even if they did not mean it, they should try to understand and apologise for hurting the other person and explain they did not mean it.

I know how you feel. People can be thoughtless and hurtful! I was very thin growing up and only started experienceing alot of weight gain in the last 4 years. Recently a girl from high school, that was jealous of me, wrote " what happened to perfect, bitchy (st), ha ha ha!" under a pcture of me on facebook (a public page). It hurt that she took so much pleasure in my pain. I wrote back that I had cancer which destroyed my metabolism. People just don't know what they are saying, and how hurtful it is to us. Especially people that have never experienced it. All we can do it forgive them and move on. Otherwise, it's just us that suffers.

OUCH!!!!! That has to hurt especially when it can from your Dad. Of course you would be hurt and angry. I am sorry he was so thoughtless, maybe in his own way he thinks he was helping with the clothes comment, who knows? Just don't let him get to you for long. This will put in into the food. Don't let anyone take your power away. You are beautiful person and this is really important. It is sad even that the comments had to be made about the neighbor. I am sure she feels like you about her weight. I wonder why your Dad has to do this type of thing. How good does he feel about himself I wonder?