Obesity Support Group

I find it amazing that we can believe things about ourselves simply based on someone else's opinion. That we can look at ourselves in a mirror and see a distorted representation based on what someone else has said. Our brain literally changes our perception to fit someone else's view. I guess that's how brainwashing works, huh?

All throughout high school I knew I was fat. After all, I'd been fat since the third grade and people still called me fat. Once, in Psychology class I was asked a question (can't remember what it was) and I responded with "I'm a vegetarian" to which a fellow classmate responded "where?" Following this was an outbreak of laughter. Though this statement made no sense it's message was clear. Vegetarians are thin. You're not. At the time I saw myself as huge. I thought I was only a few pounds away from needing a wheelchair to get around or developing other serious health problems. I'd stop eating for days or weeks at a time. I took diet pills (back with ephedra was legal... oh how I miss it!) while not eating and became addicted to them.. or rather to the psychological assertion that they would make me beautiful.

I look back now at my old high school photos and I realize that it was all a crock of sh*t. Sure I was a little chunky but, damn I looked good! Healthy and curvy and not anywhere close to being really fat. I would have been classified as overweight, but not obese. I was fit and walked everywhere I went. I ate healthy (when I ate) and had more stamina than most of the thin people in my class. I was 5'9" and weighed 180lbs. My supposed ideal weight based on my BMI is 160 lbs. 20lbs overweight and I thought I was some sort of monster?

What has society done to us? What has it convinced us of? And why, even when we recognize this distorted lie, can we still not be happy? Why can we know that we should love ourselves but still don't? Even when there are people there to tell us we are loved?

More and more people in the scientific and medical field and realizing that you can be overweight and healthy or at optimum weight and unhealthy. I weight between 250 and 260lbs on any given day. My blood sugar is good. My good cholesterol is up, my bad cholesterol is down and I can still walk a mile further than most people I know.

And yet I can still look at myself with hate and disgust and see nothing but what everyone else tells me to see. A fattie.
Posted on 07/04/08, 02:07 pm