Obesity Support Group

I wonder if losing the weight will give me all the things I want it to give me. I hope it does. I wouldn't say I get panicky though. Panicky is when I go to the school gym and I'm the only girl in there with an ass. Why do you panic?

I think I know how you feel. I just never thought anyone else felt that way. You picture how you want to be when you lose all of the weight you need to lose, but then you have never lived as a thin person and so you don't know what exactly is in store for you. I think about that a lot as I continue to try to lower my .

Of course the weight is your protection--it keeps you safe from all the emotions you will have to deal with if you couldn't eat them down. It is also understandable that you would be scared. What do you have to put in place of the food when it comes to handling your emotions? You need some type of coping skill to take the place of the food as a coping skill.
What do you think you could use?

i relate, it unconscious, but the more I become aware of it, my issue of eating over rides my weight loss, you are so not alone

For sure.

It's my literal security blanket. I've been abused in the past, my weight was a defense for me. I freak out myself.

Yes but I am trying to fight it. I am afraid of success and expect failure. Being fat to me is failure so that is why I keep regaining lost weight but tired of this.

I don't think people are afraid to lose weight, who wants to stay fat? No one ever says I feel good and safe now that I'm overweight. I think it's more a matter of giving up the pleasure of food, how it makes us feel good when we're feeling bad, all that comfort. The idea is to make healthier choices and believe in your strength. Just trust yourself.

so in otherwords being afraid of change? Is that what it is?

Know what you're talking about.
I'm in the same place right now. Lost about 30 pounds and am standing still now.
When I'm fat, no one bothers me, no one want anything, it's sort of secure this way.
On the other hand, I'm not healthy, lack energy and feel left out of life at times.
I know being 'normal', physically and emotionally is the best way to go. Fat can't protect me, it can only harm me in the long run.

Very interesting question. We should change your name to Dr. Phil! I think I definitely hide behind my weight. Mine came on suddenly with an illness, but it was right after a broken engagement and I really haven't dated much now for 18 years! I'm really not pathetic, really! I just think it's easier to blame it on my fat "Well guys don't find me attractive anyways" and use it as an excuse not to change so I don't get hurt again. Whew, that was therapeutic!