Miscarriage or spontaneous abortion is the natural or accidental termination of a pregnancy at a stage where the embryo or the fetus is incapable of surviving, ...
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Its midnight and im up preparing the appetizers for my sisters bridal shower tomorrow. My due date was sunday. I miscarried at 8 weeks after only knowing about the pregnancy for two weeks. I kept thinking the day would go past un-noticed. I very much remember that i should be preparing for labor right now, not preparing cheese dip. I called the ex-boyfriend today to see if he would just come by and watch a movie with me sunday night when he gets off work at 1130. I know i will go to work (i work in a portrait studio) and take pictures of families and babies and then come home to an empty apartment. The ex wants nothing to do with me if it is for my needs. He can ask me to come hold him or to be there for him, to sleep with him...whatever suits his mood but when i am in need of something more than the general conversation with a friend he cant be bothered. Its not that there arent people to talk to, but it has been so long since i have been able to just hold someone or lay next to someone, hear them and feel them breathe and just be close...i know i am rambling and this is way too long but im so confused. Everyone acts like because i never felt the baby kick and i dont know if it was a boy or a girl or because it was unplanned and at the wrong time with probably the wrong person that this shouldnt hurt. I understand that i only knew i was pregnant for two weeks but it only took a second to love him and plan his entire life. And i am so sick of hearing how someday i will have babies, after i graduate college or get married...that doesnt fix this. It will never be this baby! I will love those babies and be thankful and patiently wait until that time comes, but it doesnt change what i should have now...anyways, anybody found a way to let go...anything that i can do on sunday to ease the pain, anything for the baby...anything at all?
Posted on 05/17/08, 12:05 am |
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I planted a a flowering plant for each of my miscarriages (now there are four plants, sadly) That helped and tried to find something, anything to feel positive about, a chat with a friend, a beautiful sunset anything to help ease the pain a little. I asked my best friend to recount a funny story when we were travelling together because I knew I would laugh and if you can still laugh then things aren't quite so bad. Hope this helps, hugs to you. I hope Sunday will be ok. 
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I am so sorry for you loss. My due date isnt until Sept and like you i didnt find out i was pregnant with my angel until about 2 weeks before he/she went to God. No one has the right to tell you when you should be over it. Your body went through changes weather you realized or not and you connected with that baby if only for 2 weeks. What you can do is instead of making is a dreaded day make it a rememberance day go get some balloons and release them for your angel i just ordered a charm bracelet for my angel (www.myforeverchild.com/)you can even get a eternal candle, write a letter to your angel make it a positive day even if you have to do it alone. If you ever need to talk i am here.
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I'm sorry for your loss. When I m/c, I had my Aunt tell me, "Well you really couldn't afford another child, your house has only 2 bedrooms(I have a 5yo boy and 3yo girl that share a room). People just don't get it sometimes. I am planning to plant a bleeding heart plant in my flower garden And on my due date go to my mother's grave and put balloons there, I know my little angel is with her. And going to this sit will help. Keep your chin up and things will get better.
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I was in the exact same situation. I was with a guy who only wanted me around when it benefited him, my baby was unplanned and I was in the middle of getting my University degree. Everyone around me saw losing the baby as "no big deal" since she was unplanned, it was with the worst man ever and I was in no situation to raise a baby. However, I loved her more then I ever loved anyone and I still do to this day. Everyone keeps telling me that I will have more babies someday when I am ready but that will never take the place of the one I lost. On my due date I lit candles (you can see them in my pics if you want), let a balloon go and wrote her a letter. I spent the day alone and it surprisingly was easier then I thought. I'm always around and you can message me if you ever need someone to talk to or if you just want to vent. Take Care of yourself and we're all here for you!
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Whether or not your baby was planned, whether or not you felt the baby kick, and whether or not you were in the best situation to be having a baby, all of these things are irrelevant. YOU are the one who carried that baby and YOU are the one who was aware of that tiny presence, and it is YOU who is forever changed by that tiny little life! It does hurt and it hurts worse than anything I have ever experienced in my life! Yes, I believe God will bless you with another baby one day but no matter how many babies you have, they will never replace the one that was lost, that's just the way it is. My due date is not until July 17 but next week marks five months since I lost Angel. Her dad is planning on taking the day off from work and we're going to light a candle for her, maybe read some Scripture or an appropriate poem. I've never actually done anything for her on these days, I always hid from them basically and I think now it's time that I stopped hiding and face them.
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