Miscarriage Support Group

You are not alone!!! We are all here for you. I truelly believe that men don't fully comprehend what we are going through with a miscarriage. They don't realize from the moment we find out we are pregnant how attached we are to the baby. They don't understand that we had a little life growing in us and everyday felt the changes from that. Attachment starts at conception for us women and that is not necessarily so for men. But don't get discourage with them just understand the differences between us and them. But remember this happened to you and you should take as long as you want to grieve. But I can honestly say I know how you feel. I lost my baby only two weeks ago and people already act like I should be moving on. It's crazy and it goes to show that the only people who actually understand is the women who have had miscarriages too. We are here for you:)

I feel so bad that the men in your life are like the men in mine I am not trying to excuse them however man does not emotionally go though the same as a women. if you ever want to talk i am always here. i have not heard your whole story i am new here and really don't know where to look for anything

I know what u mean I feel so alone I cant keep away from my little boy grave now I want to be their all the time and I feel cus my little boy was so young only about 16 weeks he did nt look like a right baby yet he did had little eyes ears nose everything he was so cute to me and my sister said once the funeral is over u can move on how can I the empty feeling inside is so horrible at times and I cant get his little face out of my mind. its not something u can just get over or forget but remember talk to us u can message me if u want someone to talk too anytime.

I am so sorry it feels like nobody cares. I don't know why, but guys tend to grieve in such a different way then us girls. For us, it's helpful to talk about things and share. Talking and crying helps up feel closer to our babies, closer to each other, and not as alone. It's helpful for us to know we are not the only ones mourning the loss and hurting.

Boys on the other hand, tend to bottle emotions. For many reasons. They aren't used to letting emotions out all the time- they might once or twice but then that's the end for them. Guys want to try and "be strong" for us women. Know that the father is hurting too- which is why he doesn't want to bring it up, even if he never admits that to you. Try to see it as his way of grieving because it is. As for your best guy friend, I think that he is sad for you. He doesn't know how to handle your emotions and make you feel better (guys often like to fix things...with emotions, they don't know how to fix them so they get frustrated and say hurtful things). Know that he probably does care, he just doesn't know what to do to make you not hurt.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. If you ever need someone to vent to, I will be happy to listen.

I can relate to you all too well. My m/c was in October. My mother was supportive for the first day or so, now shes in completely denial and actually tells people that it never even happened. My "best friend" won't talk about it at all anymore and also says I should "be over it" by now. My aunt only talked about it once with me and never again. Even the councellor seemed annoyed with me and thought I should be "over it". Sadly, I think this happens to a lot of women after a m/c. It's sad that we can't talk about our babies more cause I am sure it would help us greatly. You can message me anytime. I'm here if you need anyone to talk to :)

I know exactly what you mean. Everybody was all supportive for the first few days, but after that, it started dropping off. It's like people who have never had a miscarriage just don't understand how the lasting the pain of it is. They think that having a miscarriage must be something like having the flu--it sucks and you feel like crap for a week or so, but then you get over it. And once you're all better, you can barely even remember what it felt like to be sick. And while we all know that it's not like that, they don't. That's why I'm really glad I found this site. Cause everybody here really gets it.

Men are funny little critters. Just about the time you think they're being supportive they make a 180 in the other direction. Then again about the time it seems they don't care they break down and show that they really do care. Odd I know but they don't have the same perspective we do because we are the ones who carry our babies and we feel every last movement. They don't unless they put their hands on our tummies at just the right moment. Not only that but society has guilted men into thinking that they have to be the tough, emotionless protectors and that if they show any emotion or affection, it's a sign of being weak and a wuss. To me it's just the opposite. I get a little disgruntled with the attitude that we're supposed to get over the death of our child and just act like nothing ever happened and I defy anyone who has never walked our path to do it and to do it sanely! Hang in there, sweetie. We're here for you.

A few months after I lost my last baby my father in law said that it shouldn't still be affecting me. I should 'be well over all that'. When I went to a psychiatrist four months afterwards he said that I was suffering from postpartum depression. It is just as common, if not more so, when a m/c occurs. Grief is a personal thing. Take as long as you need to. Don't go by others time tables. We are always here when you need us.