What is Miscarriage Stillbirth
Miscarriage or spontaneous abortion is the natural or accidental termination of a pregnancy at a stage where the embryo or the fetus is incapable of surviving, ...
Join Now
|
Venting would apreciate comments/advice
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts |
I keep having this feeling like that was it... that was my last shot at having a familly. It torments me every time I think about it. On top of it all my partner recently admitted to me that I am beginning to scare him with all this having a baby stuff. I wanted to start trying for another baby A.S.A.P. but he keeps saying we should wait. I would understand if it was because he felt not ready but he keeps saying that maybe the mc was osme sort of sign that it shouldn't happen just yet. That reason just isn't good eneugh for me. i have lost 2 babies in the past. Both ended in abortions, one because I was too young and the other was because of rape. This is my first wanted pregnancy with someone that i love and that loves me.
Also how did everyone deal with pregnant friends and familly? My boy friends brothers girl friend is now about 3 months pregnant and the las thting i want to do is see her. When I heard the news I was realy upset. I feel almost jealous...she already has 3 children and shes not exactly the best mom either (mean to say but true). I am not saying I am better than her but i have a MUCH better financial situation than she does, better education, the capabilities of providing my child with a FAR better life than she can provide for hers, and she already has children... y is it that she can have them and not me? I also feel like I am alone in this...I feel like no one can fully understand or its as if no one is willing to put any effort in trying to understand what I'm going through. My last question is if anyone has ever heard of how some women can't carry male fetus... aparently my grand mother on my mothers side always had mc when it was a boy with one exception and my mother had 2 mc and 1 still born (all boys) until she had me (girl). Does this make any sence to anyone? i am worried that i mc because I can't carry boys or have a difficult time doing so like they did. This would be a big problem because there are NO girls on my boy friends side and all I want is a boy. Posted on 05/07/08, 05:05 am |
| 8 Replies | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts |
Well it looks like you came to the right place. I understand how you feel when you say that you want to avoid your brother's pregnant girlfriend. Around the time of my m/c I had a LOT of pregnantt women in my family and one had the baby just a few days after my m/c. Personally, I avoided them until I felt emotionally ready to face them. The baby that was born a few days after my m/c I still haven't seen but someday, when I am ready I hope to see him. Take your time and go easy on yourself. We're all here for you. 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
I fully understand how you are feeling. I had my 1st mc in march of last year. My husband's cousin became pregnant around the same time as that. She and her husband didn't even want children. Soon after she found out she had a mc too. Selfishly part of me was relieved. When I became pregnant again, my husband and I were so thrilled. She soon announced that they were pregnant again too. I was upset because she was stealing my thunder. In January, I lost my son, Cody. She is still pregnant. I couldn't attend her shower and I really haven't even acknowledged her pregnancy. Part of me hates the way I am acting about it, but she didn't even come to my son's funeral. In fact, I got her Shower invite the week following his funeral. I know she means well and it was her way of not avoiding me or excluding me. I love her as a family member and maybe over time I will come to accept it, but right now I feel it should be me that is pregnant and not her. I hate going shopping because I know I will see a bunch of pregnant people and then question why I lost mine. Thank you for posting what you posted. I wish I had some good advice for you. I guess what we are feeling is somewhat normal and that makes me feel better in a way.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
It is ironic how the same thoughts all reel in our minds.I am just going to give my opinion one by one:
1. My fiance has said that he didn't want a child til I was pregnant, and now that the baby is gone, he isn't sure.I agree.Give yourself time to heal physically. I had to keep asking myself if I was just wanting to fast forward through the sadness, and I would have to say YES.Nobody wants to grieve the loss of their unborn child, it is so awful, yet it needs to happen. Maybe he is just concerned that it has become an obsession, that you may be setting yourself up for more pain.I am sure he doesn't like to see you suffer this way. 2. It is still pretty new to me, the loss.There are many pregnant women in our family at the moment.I am happy for them.I don't know if I will be totally OK with going to showers and such, but I care about these women, and I don't wish them any sorrow.I have to have faith in knowing nature is telling me it just isn't our time, as much as it hurts. And yes, I hate seeing women who have children they do not care for properly.Someone I grew up with was a drug addict through two of her pregnancies, gave birth to two beautiful kids, and abandoned them to keep getting high.I even took care of one for awhile.It is unfair, but it is not for us to be the judge and jury. 3. I also feel like nobody understands, and they avoid me because they don't know what to say. I know they are thinking of me, but it still makes me sad to think, not having the words stops them from talking to me.I need their support now more than ever, and I feel very alone. 4. I don't know about your last entry, I wish I could help. Lastly, I know you are hurting, but I can honestly say the human body needs time to heal from the effects of loss.There is nothing wrong with wanting a family, and there are many ways to embrace the thought of one without driving yourself mad trying to make something happen when it just isn't the right time.Have faith in life and grieve your loss, get healthy, and be patient.I understand more than you know.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
I so understand how yall are feeling i to feel that noone wants to talk about my mc. I mean it has only been a week and onone says anything about it. It helps me to talk about it yeah i may cry but it helps me. I have a best friend for 15 years that is pg and i dont' want to be around here or go to her baby shower. It's not her but i can't shake the feeling of why can she have a baby and i didn't . Our babys would have been 6 months apart. I today iam feeling better still having a hard time dealing with seeing littel babies and pg women. I just wanted to day i know how it feels .
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
I felt it was best to get pregnant again as soon as possible ,why do you feel it was your last chance ,you have plenty of time .This is not your last chance...,having said that I do think it is good to move on as soon as your body is healed.? ...When you see other pregnant women it is normal to compare and to feel some jealousy ,what I did was to remind my self that its not about them its about my feelings and my pain so I tried to stop the thoughts. I don’t know about the boy thing ,it sounds unlikely ,I would say the main thing is that male babies are not as strong so are often the most likely to be miscarried by anyone. but your comment that ALL you want is a boy is a bit funny for some one in your position, I would think you would be happy to have a healthy baby regardless of sex ,If not and you really mean you don’t want a girl then maybe you do need to wait a while as you may not be emotionally ready to love a child regardless of sex .
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
My dads side of the family had mostly girls and my moms side seemed to have far more boys. My sis has 2 of each. My brother 1 of each. I have 3 girls and 1 boy. I don't know what any of the babies I lost where tho.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
To: StephanieN
I would be happy if I had a girl but my dream has always wanted to have a little boy.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
When I first stared reading your post, I could relate 100%. My Boyfriend doesn't understand either. i am still trying to get him to get me pregnant. It is like my body yearns for it. I completely understand! I only hope that it gets easier for us all and one day we will all have what want so badly. Hang in there!!!
|
|
|
|
||
Advertisement
