Methamphetamine (also referred to as methylamphetamine or desoxyephedrine) is a synthetic stimulant drug used for both medicinal and recreational purposes (see Legal issues). Metha...
|
Unsent letter to mom.
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
I'm 29, I just relapsed, I'm beating the shit out of myself. I don't want advise because I know what I need to do and I'm working on it. I'm just in that spot where I can't breath and I see no light, it's hard to move and all I can think to do, right now is get this out and fight of tears.
Mom, I'm sorry I didn't call you yesterday. I'll call you later today, when real people are up. I'm so sorry things didn't work out. I kind of thought something might be going on, I just didn't want to ask. We all have to start over from time to time. I did. To be honest with you I was in a rut because I fucked up. I had polished off a bottle of scotch and an old buddy (not D.C.) showed up. Next thing I know, I'm hitting dope like the last few years never happened. So I was up for three days paranoid, depressed, and beating the shit out of myself. I'm still incredibly pissed @ myself but life goes on. I started hitting N.A. again because, when I think about it, in spite of my pride and logical issues w/ 12 steps, I was pretty happy then. I'd like to be in that place again. Somehow it allowed me to let things go. It's kind of felt like I've had the weight of the world on my sholders lately, but at the same time, all I do is go to work and play playstation. Just living gets hard sometimes. I don't mean to bum you out. I know it will pass eventually if I take steps to get past it. You were honest w/ me so I thought I'd be honest w/ you. I haven't told dad or sister about the dope. I'm not sure if I will. What could it do but make them worry and feel powerless. But, then again, I might just so I don't have any secrets weighing me down. Anyway, just wanted to say your not alone. Posted on 09/19/07, 07:09 am |
| 5 Replies | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts Ignore |
I have sooo wanted to do this with my alcohol and coccaine relapse 5 years ago. It is still going on. I have decided tgo go to AA and NA to get back on the right track. My husband won't let me tell them. He is afraid he will be blamed. He is more worried about being blamed then me getting help.You are sooo worth the help and I will always be here if you need me 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I just joined this community again to reply to you.. I closed up shop here awhile ago when my son got off this stuff.. but i come back from time to time just to see where he could be and I could be if he did not stop.. You will make it this time and it will be for GOOD.. SEND THE LETTER..LOVE D
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
It is good you didn't send this letter, because all you would have done is cause your mom more pain than you already have. Get off your ass and go to AA and NA and get clean and sober.
Don't try to alieve your guilt by placing it on your mom's shoulders.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Actually I conseder it week that I didn't and am not going to send the letter. She always asked only one thing of me, and that was to be honest about where I'm at. Your right in that I don't want to cause her more pain, but I think that holding things back from people you care about is more self destructive than benificial. As far as the guilt, it's gone. I fucked up. My job is to learn from it and move on. I stumbled. Everyone does from time to time in one way or another. All shame and guilt will do is send me into a downward spiral. That's where I was before rehab. The initial depression from the dope has passed and I'm doing well on that issue. Thanks for the support though.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Mail the letter. It is so very important to her an to you. Be honest with those who love you and be honest with you.
My 22 year old son Austin took his life last August. He was addicted to meth. He couldn't live with or without meth anymore. Please visit his memorial webiste, light a candle, read his story, share with others and may Austin's story give all the strength to overcome the powers of meth and other addictions. www.austin-hesse.last-memories.com Blessings
|
|
|
|
||
I've watched the meth epidemic hit my state very hard. Destroying my life the lives of my friends and family. From it …
Last night I ran into someone from NA and they just had to tell me I could get some killer dope right across the street …
Yesterday I had to give blood like I do every month for different things and everytime I get a needle stuck in my arm I …
