Methamphetamine (also referred to as methylamphetamine or desoxyephedrine) is a synthetic stimulant drug used for both medicinal and recreational purposes (see Legal issues). Metha...
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life on lifes terms
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ok, so i know that my alcoholism and addiction have stunted my emotional growth.... all of my "issues" can attest to that. but now i find myself getting less and less patient with myself and being able to handle foreign situations. i have a little over 2 years clean and sober now, and i am totally grateful for every day of it. yet, to be completely honest, everyday i still have moments where throwing in the towel seems like a viable option. i am so not used to actually dealing with life, but more kinda dodging it. so many of life's day to day normalities just seem to baffle me. i still go to 5-6 meetings a week, i keep in touch with my sponsor and my support group, i am of service as much as possible, and sometimes it just seems like i am "going through the motions". i am in this rut where i am able to understand the ideals and logically grasp the concepts of the program, but when it comes to the actuality of applying it to my life, i feel like a fish out of water. so, i keep suiting up and showing up, taking the next indicated step, and most importantly i don't pick up NO MATTER WHAT!! i guess i just woke up this morning with a severe need to vent. i try not to figure things out too much anymore... i can get lost in my own head in a heartbeat. if anyone out there can relate, i would appreciate hearing from you. ultimately, i know i'm gonna be ok, as long as i stay sober. my god obviously is just presenting me with an opportunity to partake in a very often much unappreciated experience, living life on life's terms.....
Posted on 07/10/08, 10:07 am |
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Hang in there Tim.
Joe 
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Your in spiritual warfare with the one that wants to destroy you better known as pushing your buttons to see if youll fail but you must hang tuff and resist and the father of lies will go away .You have come so far with 2 yrs and to throw it away for one nights hell will cut you to the bone when all is said and done .Please channel those urges into positive things and be victor and proud.Deral
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You may be showing signs of mental health issues that you have gotten in your years of using. Maybe you might want to consider looking into that for some help??
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I can definately relate im in the same boat at times, but then I remember I must turn it over to god and then my day get's back on track, I have almost 2 yrs clean and sober.
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I have been told by some old timers that the first 5 years are pretty rough. I just turned 4 this month and the biggest thing that I am greatful for today is that the desire and the obsession to use has left me. I work with my sponser on a regular basis, attend as many meetings a week that I can, some days i hit 2 to 3, cause i have to face the fact that drugs were only part of the problem, i still have to live with me. and today I like the person i am when i am not high. i just celebrated 15 years of marriage with a woman who i put through hell in my addiction. a normie. I have 2 beautiful children from this woman and they love their dad today. they don't run and hide when dad comes home anymore. So to those still suffering with the obsession, I pray for you. that one day you will find the peace that I have. Feel Free to call upon me if you need.
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No one has ever told anyone that they shouldn't work the steps 2, 3, or 4 times. I have worked the steps 2 and half times. The half is a long story so I'll save that for the right time and place.
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bump
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STAY CLEAN AND SOBER.
For all you clean and sober people, what is most important to keeping you clean and sober?
Sorry group I am not here much to help...but i am trying to move on...I don't have much to offer because I did not take …
