Methamphetamine (also referred to as methylamphetamine or desoxyephedrine) is a synthetic stimulant drug used for both medicinal and recreational purposes (see Legal issues). Metha...
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So I really want to use so badly I even contacted a old dealer that i used to know luckliy he did not have any. but you know that saying when you cant have something you want it more yeah thats the boat i am floating in. the cravings are coming and going and more coming now that life is getting stressful again yeah i can deal with the stress and i know i can but i am tired you know i want to feel like i am on cloud nine again i want to feel sexy about myself again i want to feel again i guess you could say i dont know how much of that makes sense but i just want the meth back but i dont cause its the devil and now its a war in my head to go back to not go back. ugh why?
Posted on 06/18/08, 06:06 pm |
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I am not sure exactly why when we get off that horrible drug we still crave, even after it causes us to lose our material things as well as our sanity and so on and so forth. But at any rate the only way that I stayed clean was by surrounding myself with clean people. Maybe you should try hitting up a few NA meetings in your area, they really do work. And the people in them are amazing people who will do just about anything to help you. But you have to cut yourself off from dealers and other tweekers COMPLETELY or else you will most definitly use when times get hard. You have to learn how to live life on life's terms. Hope that helps you. :) 
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Definitly changed my playground and playmates. And NA was a big part of my recovery also. I can't tell you what you should do but how I did it and these are some of the things I did. I also got a job. I didn't give myself time to think about doing dope or what I was missing which wasn't shit when it comes to that life.
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Christina you are having a spiritual battle w/ the devil and he wants you to fall off and hurt yourself hoping youll continue and ruin your life so you got to be vigilant and stand your ground always knowing that he cant read your mind but he is very smart and can manipulate you by your actions so if the whispers in your ear are bad things then they are from the evil one and if you hear good things then thats from the one that loves you and thats the ones you adhere to and do them,hang tough and fight for your life.Deral
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The craving is the bad part and have you tried NA yet ?? NA has been part of my recovery. Then I found new people to have as freinds and let go of the old to bring in the new - which includes numbers and all the rest. Gather new numbers and meet new people in the recovery, it is kinda cool to get to know others that you can relate with and be support-take care
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I know how you feel; it's been hard for me too. It's important to re-build your life around being clean. I agree with the other comments, but also try to find pleasure in things you use to enjoy before your addiction to meth. Of course find yourself some drug-free friends to enjoy your free time with. Find the passion in your life without meth. Try not to glamorize the high. Think more about the crash and the damage control that comes after using.
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Get to an NA meeting, people are dying from meth use.
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