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Mental retardation is a term for a pattern of persistently slow learning of basic motor and language skills ("milestones") during childhood, and a significantly below-normal global...

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Need advice for dealing with paren retarded child
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I've been dating a man with a 17 year old daughter who has CP and is retarded (I'd say about first grade level). We've been dating 3.5 years and over the summer his daughter and mother moved here from another state. She is left alone by her parents for 8-10 hrs a day while they work and I feel this is an unsafe for her. In the past two weeks they have had three incidents, while she was left alone, that put her and others at risk for personal safety. She used the oven to cook bacon, lit matches and recently stayed the night at home alone with no supervision due to parent miscommunication. She doesn't seem to know her boundries and the parents don't seem to want to set them other than to talk to her about her "mistakes". I've tried expressing my concerns to my boyfriend about leaving her alone and nothing has been done. I am not sure what to do. Help!!
Posted on 02/03/08, 12:02 am |
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This story terrifies me. I have a daughter who has Angelman Syndrome and is 10 years old. No matter the physical age of the child it is the mental age that must be taken into consideration. If there has already been incidents in the house it will not be long before Family Services in your state become involved and the child might be removed from the mother and father because of these unsafe environments. If the child is only at the mental age of about 6 or 7 then the child needs to be treated and cared for as a 6 or 7 year old child because that is his age of capability. I am no expert but as someone who has dealt with the state and family services usually they try to keep the family together, however, if the environment is unsafe then the child might be taken. You might call any local family support services organization (for special needs families) and ask them for help and advice or talk to your boyfriend about becoming involved with such an organization. Often times these groups will help pay for child care and educate families on the best ways to handle situations of this nature.
If you love this man then you have to support his decisions if he chooses not to get help, but you also are obligated to try to attain help for this child who is not capable of being home alone. If you feel you are able maybe you could volunteer to watch her at times when she is out of school, or possibly search for home health aides to help care for her and bring that to the attention of your man-friend. This is the exact reason that my ex doesnt take my 10 year old very often--and never overnight, he doesnt know how to handle her or take care of her appropriately. Maybe your man friend just doesnt know how to handle the situation. I wish I could be more help!
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I agree. Not only is she putting herself in danger, but also others. That could lead to serious consequences when she does not even know what she is doing. It must be hard for you because you are not her mother, but something has to get their attention before it is too late. They do not look at her mental age and figure out a safe enviornment for her during the day. Hope this gets betters.
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If this continues, I am sorry to say, but I would call authorities. Something has got to be done. This angers me greatly. She needs to be watched and monitored 24-7. Wow..I can't believe this.
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I am in agreement with all of the posts. Mental age has to be considered when caring for a child and not actual age. It's wonderful that you care so much.
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Maryinnapa, Your 'situation' sounds extremely dangerous and quite scary at the same time. Besides this teenager hurting someone else by what 'could' happen, she might also kill herself in the process if something isn't done and quick.
Can you please check into organizations such as the Young Adult Institute, Federation Employment and Guidance Services (F.E.G.S.org), and other organizations and agencies which will be able to help this girl, and possibly avert a tragedy in the making? Cerebral Palsy and mental challenges aside, she needs to be with others like herself (which usually has a more 'positive' out-come in the long run.), 'Day-into-Night time run centers' for these situations, in order to keep her safe and give her family a breather. I wish you the BEST and pray for all of you, ESPECIALLY this young girl, in this very tense turn of events. God be with you all.
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