Mental Challenged Support Group

my daughter is 34 and we still have not went after guardianship. we have not had to much trouble with any of the doctors or anyone else with getting her care. but of course she can't talk, but will shake her head yes if asked a question. she is also on ssi because of her inability to beable to work. i don't know if that is something that you have checked out yet or not. it helps to take care of her and get her the things she really need. if she can make her own decisions about everyday life, than i don't know if she needs a guardian yet. good luck, hard decision to make. you don't want to take away her rights, but yet you want the best for her. just one more quick thing. i don't know about you, but i don't like the classification of "retarded" i generally say special needs or mentally challanged. what is your opinion on that?

Hi, grandma4!

Thanks for your response. That's a very encouraging response, to know that you haven't felt the need to go the guardianship route with your daughter. I can't be certain, but it seems your daughter may be more severely affected than mine, so if you've been able to go without guardianship, we certainly should be able to. That's one point for no! :)

I guess I don't much care for the word "retarded" either because I heard it used in a derogatory manner while I was growing up. But I'm not really offended by it now, and sometimes it's descriptive in a way no other word can be. I don't use it often, but I do use it.

Hello phuntazztique and grandma4. I am new to this website. I saw it and thought I would give it a try.

My sister is 44 in her medical records it says she has mild mental retardation. After my mother passed away in 1998 my husband and I moved in with my dad to help him take care of my sister. My Dad ended up getting a Trust for my sister. And talking to a lawyer He has advised my dad making me the guardianship of my sister. It was to be in her best interest. My Dad is 87 now and still in the best of health and still working. But he could pass away anytime. My mother passed away as a young age of 60. The Lawyer told me that I needed to get the Gaurdianship because if any situation came up for medical or leagel. If they were to ask her any questions and she didn't understand them. She could answer them wrong. And if it was not in her best interest then I or no one could step in to fix it. If she needed medical help and it was a life or death situation and she was scared and she refuesed treatment. They would listen to her and not me. My sister will never be on her own. She is also diabetic. I have to give he 4 shots a day. She is totally dependent on me for everything. She doesn't know really what is good for her. I cook for her and make sure she eats right. Her being diabetic is very dangers for her. She doesn't understand that she can't just eat anything. I do everything for her. She can't read or write. She talks pretty good. She can get her point across. At times she is like a 2 yr old up to a 15 yr old just depends on the situation. She is pretty high functioning in doing her daily things like showering making her bed, brushing her teeth. Putting up her clothes after I have washed them and folded them. But still likes to play with Barbies. Loves children movies. Loves to color. She is pretty much a child to me. I have taken on the roll of my mother. I have 3 other sisters they are my half sisters. They are all old enough to be my mother. I don't get any help or releif. I beleive getting the guardianship is the best thing. If they can't ever be on there own. Or they can't make good judgments and choices then who ever is taking care of your loved one needs to have a Guardianship over them. I love my sister with all my heart or I wouldn't be her right now. I am here baby sister. I want whats best for her. I know what is best for her. She is very child like and couldn't not make difficult decions for herself. I hope I have helped in you makeing the right decions for your daughter. I know whatever you decied is in your daughters best interest. No one knows her better then MOM and DAD.

I just discovered this site and am so very thankful that there is others that too have great concern pertaining to all aspects of guardianship vs. conservatorship. My daughter just turned 22years old, and is considered high functioning, but the questions of the legal process can be overwhelming. The law specifies that once an individual turns eighteen years of age, everything changes. Especially when it comes parental end of life. And not to mention the fact that your child can be interviewed, evaluated, consulted etc. while at school or at the work site with out your knowledge. And as time goes by so quickly... your loved one is an adult and it makes the process more difficult. Please feel free to contact me at anytime to discuss if I can be of any help. "Parents helping Parents" Jan

hi, i am all for guardianship by the parents, because there are others out there that could get into your child's life and mess it up.
someone else beat me to it, it was my daughter's babysitter! now i am cut out of her life, this guardian is NOT reporting my daughter's condition to the court( it's just once a year to file a form), and i keep having nightmares about my daughter being abused.
So now, i have no money, yet have to get legal help to get things straightened out and my daughter safe.
i cannot get any info from caseworkers or medical people, because i am not her guardian! even if she had NO guardian, i could not ever get any info about her from any of the professionals or county services, it is the confidentiality laws.

and of course, i am talking about my mrdd adult daughter here, who also has epilepsy and chronic pneumonia.
(the one who is her guardian, is NOT really the best person for her at all, she just had the money to aggressively pursue this in court---and has no children of her own!) my daughter is 28.

mistymoon,

Thank you for sharing your story. It is heartwrenching, and I wish you the very best with getting your daughter back under your guardianship, where she belongs. I appreciate your input; it will have great impact on our decision(s) about our daughters. I'm very sorry for your situation and again thank you for sharing; I know that others who read of it will receive the strength and understanding to do what is right for their own children.

My DD just turned 18, and I worked with a lawyer before her B'Day, to set up guardianship. DD has "mild mental retardation", epilepsy, severe developmental delays, asthma, and attends school with an IEP, in a spec. ed class. She has always been behind as far as dev. milestones, very different from my two older children 33, 34. DD is very naive, and would sign something she should not, is not capable of going into a store alone, or being alone at anytime for that matter. I am a single Mom and had to save $$ to pay the attorney for the help with the paperwork, court, etc. Since DD has many medical, educational issues I felt it was best for me to continue to be her "case-manager" per say.
I don't get any help from my amily, her Dad, or this State, so I am her 24/7 caregiver. My hope is that someday she will receive services, (I am pursuing), and she will have some type of independence. When and if that time comes, we can go back to court and adjust the guardianship to meet her needs. Full guardianship can be changed by the court. I felt DD needed the continued structure and support she has had, and wanted to continue that legally. Now I can do that for her. The legal procedure was not difficult, as her physicians are 100% behind me and wrote letters including her current diagnosis and prognosis. I hope this helps some:)

If you get any good anwers could you pass them along to me. My boy friend will be facing the same decision in 6 months

I say be her guardian before the court appoints one from outside the family. Do not worry about reporting to the state. They just want to be sure your child is getting her best interests met. As a bio parent there is no doubt you would serve her best interests. My daughter is 16 but I am wasting no time saving money for court costs. I would have a hard time living with myself if I did not at least make a great effort to be her guardian and would have a hard time trustig a guardian that came from outside of the family. I hope this helps. Steve