Temptation
I'm trying to quit and feeling strong, but there are temptations that make it harder, like: • People call me and …
The drug cannabis, commonly known as marijuana, is produced from parts of the cannabis plant, primarily the cured flowers and gathered trichomes of the female plant. The major acti...

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In need of objective advice
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Hi, Ive just joined. Came to my head- revelation!- to research the subject here, as I got some good tips in other support groups, so I thought why not to try.
I'm not smoking myself for few years- I only did it occasionally anyway- but I've noticed that I was getting paranoid in a really bad way on a couple occasions. It scared me to bits so I've decided to stop. It's not the issue though, just to explain the situation. It's really hard for me to talk about it, as I see it as some sort of treason. But I've exploid all the other means and feel helpless. My partner is heavily addicted to weed. First thing he does in the morning is to spark up. Like any other addict he has a joint ready- at least half length- in an ashtray every morning to spare himself a hassle. If he has a day off, his ideal scenario is to lay on a seatee and get stoned all day long. On the other hand, he has a well paid job and can refrain himself from smoking the whole day when he works. That's something I can't get my head round- if forced- and it's not only because of work- he doesn't smoke for a while, but I can tell that's all he want's to do anyway, just waiting for a chance. So I feel guilty to force him to do anything- like go out, meet friends or even have sex... I've tried to talk to him that maybe he should to cut down, but he always firmly claims that it doesn't affect him at all(?!). I seem to be banging my head against a brick wall. He started attacking me ( verbally only) and treating me as an enemy- just because I've started demending something. I know that's paranoia kicking in but he says that's it's me making trouble. I can see my guilt in it, because I've always let him do whatever he wanted. Borrowed him money for weed and even bought it for him. As I was never a proper heavy user, my question is- does it make you emotionally indifferent? I don't seem to be getting to him anymore, and I don't know if it's me or the smoke. My emotions are raging and he just doesn't seem to care at all. We can't even talk anymore. If I bring something he doesn't like- it's me looking for a fight. I've tried to convince him to see a consouller but he dissmissed it straight away. What could I do? Went to see a doctor myself and got tranqulizers prscribed, ha ha- as if that's gonna help. I'm confused and lost. Any advice would be appreciated. Posted on 07/05/08, 01:07 pm |
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Yes, weed makes you very emotionally indifferent. I would think that's why people smoke it--when they are feeling stressed, mad, sad, etc.--all else floats away when high.
My husband and I used to get high as a cure-all for every argument, b/c we would literally smoke and forget why were arguing--and wallah--problem would go away. Bad part of that plan was that the problems were always waiting there when we were sober. I used weed as a crutch for a long time to deal with my emotions. Instead of stewing and thinking, I'd just get high and forget about it all. Help your man however you can, but convincing him that he needs to quit smoking pot may be impossible. You may even have to choose between living that way and living without him. It's a choice only you can make, but if he smokes as often as you say--don't expect him to be getting into any deep emotional issues anytime soon--he'll probably just laugh. I wish you the best of luck. Keep talking to him, and don't give up easily. But in the end, choose what's best for you--maybe if he realizes that you are that serious about wanting him to quit, it will be what he needs to make a change.
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The codependency group here is a good step for loved ones of addicts. It's so awful to want you loved one to sober up and to realize how powerless we are over addiction. I wish you find the support you deserve and know you are not alone.
In Al Anon I learn and realize even if the addict/alcoholic gets clean and sober, life doesn't magically transform into bliss. Sometimes we need help for ourselves.
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