Kleptomania Support Group

well what do they steal, cos kids are kids they might just be playing, i dont mean to imply any insult just that children to do things without thinkin about what they are really doing.

They are stealing anything from money, other peoples belongings, food...they steal anything that they can get there hands on...it's not necessarily something that they would have any use of..it's like they get a thrill out of it!

you say your a foster mum are the kid related, one of you kids could be kleptomanic perhaps you should opserve ther behavour before and after they steal you may notice that one of them starts acting unusal kelptos often exsperiance a realses of tension and in some cases we can get a very very good feeling out of it, also you might find that one of the kids is influencing the other witch is not good its hard enough to deal with one klepto, also try to talk to the older one about what they feel when they steal dont tell them its wrong and dont judge i know that even though your there mother its easy for people to judge kleptos because our behaour is socaliy unexceptable, dont make the kid feel like what he is doing is wrong becasue then when he does it he will feel guilt witchs can lead to all sorts of problems.

Thank you very much for all your advice...i will definately try that!

good luck oww and i would try it soon when i first start stealin i wasent addicted but it only about a week for me and know i steal more then 5 things daily from shops, so be quick you dont want you kids turnin out like me, trust me...

Is there any help out there for kids that steal? This has been going on for about 2 yrs and my husband and i have no idea how to get them out of the habit. Thank you so much for your advice and your support...it's muchly appreciated!

Umm other then therpy i dont really think there is anything, i would keep in the family though dont tell anyone else because youll find that people often discrimenate agienst people with kleptomania even though its just like any other addiction, there maybe a from of medication but really you need to speak with a doctor.

I would suggest seeking professonial help as what we post on here is never going to be right or wrong.. however I have a book here that is called Childrens Needs II: Development, Problems and Alternatives which focuses on an array of childrens issues, including stealing.. I will try to summarise it here for you:

"Stressful life conditions can alter interpersonal relations and set the stage for increased antisocial behaviour in children through the disruption of healthy family interactions, the exacerbation of dysfunctional relationships or the fostering of a negative social climate that promotes criminal behaviour"

I would assume here that being foster children, that the disruption in their lives due to being foster children would apply..

"It is important to establish a framework of openess that allows for the expression of personal attributions, perceptions and beliefs about the problem with all adults who have regular contact with the child.

Begin with the recognition that everyone shares a responsiblity and a desire to promote the child's wellbeing and suceess. The next step is to gain an understanding of adults beliefs and attributions about the problem, including reasons for,concerns about, and personal reactions to the childrens stealing."

Basically, what they are trying to say here is, what you think as a parent about the problem will have a major influence on the outcome. If you think its just a 'passing of age' thing then chances are it will be viewed in not such a bad light, if you think its the start of adolescent downfall, then you will want to nip it in the bud, so to speak.

"The characteristics of the settings where occurs including the place, time of day, the people present, and the level of surveillance or adult mointoring in the area can provide information about critical events that can instigate or perpetuate stealing."

"Cues about what maintains or provokes stealing can be determined by evaluation the child's attributions, beliefs, and response expectations. Faulty cognitive processes, such as hostile interpretations of the sitution (eg: he harmed me on purpose), faulty outcome expectations (eg: I will get even) and limited flexibilty in generating alternative resources or in evaluating consquences can lead to expressions of anger or revenge and give rise to motivations to steal"

"Individual interventions hhave been most successful when the child has been involved in establishing his o her own solution for change and when there has been a dual focus on improved honesty and reduced stealing. Other reccomendations for the design of successful child focused interventions include the adminsitration of simple and consistent consqeuences for any suspected instances of stealing (eg: one hour of work around the house, the elimination of one hour of TV or video games) and the requirement that the child compensate for the stolen item (eg: trading in a favourite toy, giving up a favourite activity, completing extra chores)."

Personally I think it is important to talk to these children and find out why they steal, I personally think it is a reflection of not having a stable family from the beginning, I do believe foster care is a wonderful thing but for children to lose their parents and begin with another, and often in life they move from foster family to foster family, that these anti-social behaviours come about. Often its a indirect way of wanting attention, perhaps its the only way they know how.

I hope that this post has been some help, I would also suggest that you explain what happens to stealers, the possibilty of jail, perhaps talk about their favourite possession and how they would feel if it was stolen from them?

Good luck.