Infidelity Support Group

Here's where it is:

Labor day weekend was thought to say the least.

Friday, after checking the new pay as you go phone that I had been monitoring for a couple weeks, I finally found what I had been looking for. She had forgotten to delete his number from a call earlier that day. So I confronted her, and she had nothing to say but that she was sorry and would again stop.

Last week I purchased a phone recorder. The kind that silently records when any phone line is picked up. Then I went in and took the time off in October that would allow mw to go on the trip with my wife.The morning I was finally able to install the recorder, just before I left for work, I turned it on, then told my wife,"what would you say if I told you that I took the time off". Her immediate reply was, "great, now we don't need to stress on a sitter". I told her that I had hoped her response would have been a bit more along the lines of "Great! Now you can come meet my family and see where I come from, and we'll have a blast for my birthday!". In my heart, I knew that would not be the reply I would get. So I left for a long anxious day at work.

At work, I kept an eye on the online call usage for our phone. Needless to say, that the number that I suspected was his, was showing much more than usual.

When I got home, and had the chance, I grabbed the recorder and went for a walk. The first call was from her to him. To sum it up, she was pissed and bummed that I took the time off, and was trying to manipulate my way onto the trip. He was also disappointed that he wouldn't be able to pick her up from the airport. They decided that perhaps she would "let" me come for the second week, so that for her birthday weekend, when his kid wouldn't be there "he would have her all weekend". She called me with this, while he was on the other phone; him on the house phone and me on the cell, and I said no. All or nothing. Then a call to her sister with the same overtones, and how "he" would be disappointed.

The next call ripped my soul out...

For anyone out there considering doing what I did by recording conversations in this situation, let me tell you brace yourself for what you may hear, and be aware that it may be a curse that will haunt you forever.

The next call started with my wife saying, "..Whatever...So, are you in the mood?" Followed with about thirty minutes of graphic phone sex.

I cannot get the image of what I heard out of my head. On one hand, I am 100% glad that I now know that all of my feelings up to this point were dead on, but on the other hand, I'm left with her sexual voice, moans, and orgasm running through my mind. It is better to know, I know this, but this blackens the soul like I never knew could be.

The last call completed the puzzle, and answered the question of the, "I'm thinking of the 27th" email that I talked about in my first entry. In a conversation to her mother about talking to him, her mom asked if I knew about "It", and she said "no, he just thinks we chat". Then, referring to the 27th, when she was at her sisters and parting with this guy, she said, "I had a moment for me, so I took it and got me some".

There it is. Out of her own mouth. She fucked this guy, and has been having phone sex with him ever since june. Then making me out to be some controlling maniac because I'm trying to get to the truth of the situation.

I felt like I was hit by a truck... Alot...Over and over again...So much that I know everything's broken and ruptured, ribs sticking out and fractured; but completely numb.



With this tape I confronted her.



She still tried to deny it. That is until I played the part for her where she was giving him oral phone sex. I asked her to deny that. At that point she was out of any road to lie.

I asked her if she loved him, and she said no. "It's just a nice distraction from our problems that got out of hand" she said. She says that she wants to try to fix our marriage. That she still loves me. In my heart, in the happy place where my family lives, that's buried by a black and bloody tar of lies and betrayal, wants so badly to believe this to be true. I just don't know what to believe right now.

I told her, now that there's no doubt WHY she was going back, that if she went without me, that our marriage would be over. She agreed not to go. I also told her that if she's serious about repairing what's left of our life, that we were going to call him together, and put an end to this. She also agreed. That happened yesterday. He said that we would never hear from him again.

We'll see...

Since then, over the last couple of days,, we're trying to smile. Trying to discuss our issues without starting every sentence with "yeah but I". I really don't know which way it's going to go.

I'm pretty much a wreck. The angry, hurt Jim wants to rage and scream. That jim wants to look at her as the embodiment of all evil. The Jim that's compassionate, spiritual, and the husband who took the "for better of worse" vow seriously, wants to hold her and forget all of this ever happened. In a strange way, I feel better now that the cloud of speculation has been lifted. I fell better because I now KNOW everything.

Still...

I'm a mess....



Thanks for listening..

If I could, I give all of you hugs for real..

jim
Posted on 09/04/07, 07:09 pm