What is Infidelity

Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, an unmarried person who ...

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My story - update
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PLEASE READ MY JOURNALS

Briefly, following my partners affair, he moved over to "sort his head out". That was 11 days ago.

In the last 11 days he goes from "saying he loves me and will always love me", to "he loves me but not the way he should" "he thinks he love OW" ... then back to "he love me" back to "we are over"

Yesterday i had enough so i agreed for him to come talk to me and this is how it went :-

Well, he turned up an hour and a half earlier than arrange, walked in the house like he still lived here and made me bloody angry!!

I listened to how he was feeling, listened all about how sad and confused he was. He even asked me about counselling. I thought we were actually getting somewhere but in his typical manner lately, we went back to the "i dont know what i want" "i cant make any promises"

I told him i was very sorry he felt the way he does but i cannot carry on waiting on him. I deserve a life of my own, i deserve to be with someone who wants me for me, I deserve to be happy with someone who truly loves me.

He started to say "but i do love you etc etc etc". I cut him short and said no, this is the end, i am making this decision. We are over, and i mean OVER. There will be no more texts, no more phone calls, no more contact. We have discussed everything we need to talk about and this is the end.

The look of total horror came on his face and the tears in his eyes, but i stayed strong, and i continue to tell him that i meant everything i was saying. We are over, no more contact, you are not a part of my life anymore, From this minute onwards i am a single woman and i am going to make myself happy.

He stood up, asked for a cuddle and was saying sorry. I told him i didnt want a cuddle and i didnt want to hear his sorry's anymore.

He left.



Now .... i cant believe i have done what i did. Im so scared he will put all his efforts into being with OW now he thinks he has lost me.

I have had no contact from him since, which is the 1st ever!

I just feel so lost today, like i have pushed him out of my life for good
Posted on 09/04/07, 07:09 am
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Reply #1 - 09/04/07  7:42am
" its 12.41 here now in the UK (not 1st thing in the morning USA time). "
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Reply #2 - 09/04/07  8:53am
" Samantha,

You did the right thing. If putting your foot down and standing up for yourself means that he puts all his "efforts" into being with the OW, then so be it. He has made his choice and you have your answer about who he really wants to be with. Whether he is in your life is up to him. If he is not willing to do it on your terms then, good riddance.

I know this is hard but now is the time to turn to your family and friends, NOT your ex, for comfort and solace. When he is ready to meet your conditions, then you can entertain the idea of having him back in your life. Until then, take care of YOU! "
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Reply #3 - 09/04/07  10:56am
" I think you need to figure out what you really want , if you do love him call him and tell him so , but that you can only be with him if it is def. over w the OW and seek counseling. this is a horrible time. i know how you feel, i have ups and downs not sure what i want and what will make me happy but at least my H has stopped the affair and she is out of picture and even our country, so far as i know, but now i have to deal with a pathological liar and decide if he can stop and change and if i can live w it if he can or cannot. "
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Reply #4 - 09/04/07  11:10am
" I have told him i love him. He knows i want to work through this, go to counselling etc and be together.

He just seems unwilling to do anything. He says he doesnt know how he feels about anything at the moment. He said he loves me but not as he thinks he should "
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Reply #5 - 09/04/07  11:14am
" He goes from "i love you and i will always love you" to " i think i might by in love with OW"

If he could get OW out of his head then he could see the affair for what it actually was. Shes already gone from telling him she doesnt love him, to telling him she will keep seeing him, to not talking to him.

The last time she told him to F off, he stopped all contact but then she starting texting him again.

Whatever is happening between them now i dont know. I feel i want to call her again and have it out with her, but she just lies to me ... so i know that would get me no where "
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