Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, an unmarried person who ...
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Confused but very angry !
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Full story in my journals, but briefly my parter of 5 years had an affair, moved out 4 weeks later but insisted we werent over and promises it had nothing to do with OW.
In the last week (he moved out 24th August) he has loved me one minute, not the next, wants to be with me one minute, then the next damn minute he loves the OW and wants to be with her. We arrange for him to come to talk this evening but he turned up early, walked in like nothing has happened and sat telling me how depressed he is, even told me he still doesnt know how he feels about OW. Reading between the lines i think he is hoping she will have him back (she told him to F off once he left me) so ive told him i am not sitting round waiting for HER to decide if he is coming back to me, and that i wasnt being 2nd best. Ive told him that we are over for good, i dont want him in my life anymore,and i want someone who loves me for me, and i want to be happy. Ive told him no more contact, he can ring and text as much as he likes cause he aint ever getting a reply from me again!!! God he has made me so angry with his selfish attitude and does he honestly expect me to sit waiting on whether she wants him or not !! Maybe this will finally give him the push he needs to think for himself and decide what he wants, rather than if she will have him. Christ shes 10 years younger than him, she has 4 kids, he has 3 that live with him = 7 kids and a relationship based on lies .... WHY cant he see that ??? I seriously cannot believe he can walk out on a good relationship, our home, our life, for THAT Saying that, he would have to actually admit to himself thats why he left, thats why he tells me he loves me but not the way he should. SO BLOODY ANGRY - you would think i would be upset right now after all that ... maybe that will come in a few days but right now i am angry !! Posted on 09/03/07, 02:09 pm |
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Samantha-I can feel how angry you are, but I'm not sure what you want as a response---
How to get over it? Find someone who needs something knocked down-a wall in their house or an old shed-and go crazy. Buy some old crappy plates at a yard sale and break them (and take the broken bits and some grout and make a funky cool table top). Start a food fight (maybe at a park where you don't have to clean it up). Help a friend move (you will be too tired to be angry and probably happy it isn't you unpacking!) You can't find closure with him, so you will have to find it some other way. Physical activities help. I am particulary fond of breaking things (obviously). 
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Sam,
anger is good! It is one of the emotions we have that give us information and tell us which way to go. Sad...cry. Guilty...repent. Angry...stand up for yourself. You may be angry for a while as this is a huge betrayal and added to that his expectation that you hold his ahdn while he decides. Breaking plates, safely, is a good idea, but you have to pick them up. I have thrown eggfs at a tree, somewhere, way in the back, where it will just dry or be eaten by critters. Punch a pillow!. Write in a journal, this one or on paper. Tell him what an ass he is, list all his stupid flaws. Then write about what you want, what a wonderful person you are and how if this hadnt happened you might have been stuck in a relationship with a very emotionally immature person for the rest of your life. He might come to his senses and he couild mature. that is up to him. Find something you like to do, when you are ready and meet new people who are upbeat. Volunteer and meet people who care enough to volunteer. Bless you, take care
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Eggs-oh, Nave, that's good!!
I guess it really depends on what point of angry you are. All of Nave's suggestions are really good, but if you are at the point where your anger is controlling you instead of you controlling your anger then you gotta find the valve and let off steam before you become a road rage story. Go to a counselor. It is so messed up to me that having to go through this means now I got issues, but I know I do. Probably we all do-this is one of the worst things I can think of having to deal with, but getting someone else's perspective on these boards has helped immensely.
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