Infidelity Support Group

Even residing in the same house one night after discovery of the A is considered forgiveness in some states. You need to look up the laws for your state or consult a lawyer.

The 'good' news is that often, a WS will lie and new information will come out about the extent of the A, and I suppose, depending on the severity, that could 'restart' the forgiveness process legally.

This is a misconception. This, in most jurisdictions only relates to separation! If, say, you separated on such and such date yet consumate on such and such date, the separation date starts over. Yes, in some states, you can LIVE together LEGALLY and be separated, and have it restart cuz ya had sex.

It has nothing to do with infidelity, unless you claimed being separated from it and wish to use a separation date in legal forms.

In California, where I am, there are only two grounds for divorce. Irreconcilable Differences (did I spell that right?) and insanity. The infidelity doesn't matter (meaning it won't get you more or less custody, support or property).

infidelity counts for nothing.... WOW what a society we live in ... It's like the person who cheats is considered as just and honest as the one who stood by their family 100%. Sad world we live in.

From my research, it is not a misconception, at least not in MD. And if that's so in one state, likely it's true in others as well.

Here's what I found:

Generally, if you knew your spouse committed adultery but continued to live and cohabit with your spouse, then adultery cannot be used as a ground. Once you resume marital relations, after you learned of the adulterous act, the courts feel that you have forgiven, or "condoned," the act. But, if your spouse starts having affairs again, you can then sue on grounds of adultery. Or, if your spouse has had several affairs and you knew of and condoned only one, you may file on adultery regarding the newly discovered affairs.
In Maryland, however, condonation does not necessarily bar the action for divorce; it now only a "factor for consideration."

http://64.233.169.104/search?q=cache:lGIZUZcoP_sJ:www.marylandlawonline.com/md/family/divexpln.htm+maryland+adultery+laws&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us&client=firefox-a

Boy, that is rediculous! I just found out (about 3 months ago) that my husband had an affair over 5 years ago. I figured that I did not have anything to lose anymore, since any STD would have already been transmitted to me. I did not want to go outside of my marriage for sexual satisfaction, but my husband did (a long time ago). Why would I not be able to claim adultery on divorce papers? The divorce laws really do not seem fair on either side to me.

The way I understood my lawyer was that once the affair has ended and you agree to a reconciliation that`s considered as if you have forgiven the affair. According to him the reason behind that law is to not have the affair dangling over the "infidel`s" head for eternity and to promote reconciliation and therefore marriage.
IMO it`s a really stupid law, because for me it`s rather a reason to get a divorce right away, or else to give up my rights.
If you want a divorce later on you will need new proof.

I think that is crap!!! I have never heard of such a thing. You might have done it to try and save your marriage but that's it. In my state (IL) if you have an std from a H/W an automatic divorce is granted. Thank God I didn't get one but I almost died having to get tested for one.

I saw a great therapist that was also a divorce mediator. She told me what I should get in the divorce. She was pretty much right on the money. Too bad so sad for stbx. He must be crying looking at his bank account right now.

I think you should just talk to an attorney in your state who can help you clarify this.

I am an attorney in CA, although not a divorce attorney. California is a no fault divorce state meaning that nothing you or your H does, or did, will make any difference in terms of the amount you will get or how the property will be divided. You will not get more $$ because your H cheated. You are entitled to alimony and child support if you qualify for it and you won't get more or less just because your H cheated. It is all statutory and based on income, cost of living, number of children and other criteria. You can sleep with your H before during and after the affair and before during and after the divorce papers are filed and it won't make any difference at all.