What is Infidelity

Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, an unmarried person who ...

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I'm a retard
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I dont know what to do, i'm such a retard for staying with him. I thought we were getting better and now last night on a way back to North bay after spending a few hours painting our new place, i was about to write a note into his booklet, well i saw another note saying "hey ya sexy, muah" And i ask him what the hell was that and he said must of been Tina or matthew writing in his book. Well i was worried about it so the next morning i ask Tina if she or her bf wrote in Jons book and I showed her the writing. She said it as not her or him, and its not my writing or Jons. So i think it was another girl who wrote that to Jon, so i am totally freaking out and he is at work and i cant get ahold of him. So now i have to wait till he gets home at 5:30pm and its only 10:30am here. I cant stop the terrible feeing in my tummy. I dont know what to think, if it was not Tina or her bf or me or Jon, then is must be another girl, but he only works and comes home so how does he have the time??? But its in his book, and his book as far as i know has only been in the house or car. So did he have someone in the car with him?? or what??. I saw the book the other day and there was no note so it must be new. So what a i suppose to do? Move into the place just me and Timothy, if i did i would be in sturgeon falls , with just Timothy and i would have to work full-time once maternal leave stops and so i would have to make atleast 1000.00 a month with baby bonus of $420.00 a month so i could afford my place. My place would be $875.00, hydro-$75.00, cable-$153.00 and then Visa card-$50.00, the brike-$50.00. Then food $150.00, and then baby stuff$ 150.00 a month for formula and diapers. that will be around $1500.00. So i would just make it, and then be broke. Hmm but i got to do it, if its a girl, i need to build a good plave for Timothty, with or without him. It was my credit that got the place. PLease pray this all works out if this is the road i have to take. Tina says she will come to sturgeon falls to babysit. I am so scared to do this, i dont know what to do.. I dont want to cry, i dont want to be upset......:(
Posted on 07/24/08, 10:07 am
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Reply #1 - 07/24/08  11:04am
" First of all, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. You don't deserve it.

Secondly, you aren't a 'retard' as you say. You LOVE this person and are willing to do what you can to work it out.

Don't do anything hasty. Talk to him and try to clear it up. Unless you feel you can't trust him any longer and feel he's lying to you. Then you can make a clear decision on what your next move should be.

Hang in there and hugs!!! "
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Reply #2 - 07/24/08  12:16pm
" OK NOW TAKE A DEEP BREATH. You have every right to be suspicious but don't jump the gun right now. You are panicking and I understand this. But slow down and calm down. You will get nothing from him if you confront him upset. Personally I would need more evidence than a childish note like that in his book. Should you be on guard? YES watch him closely for clues and keep your radar up. I wouldn't make any serious decisions just yet. But I would definitely let him know that you will not put up with lieing and cheating even flirting around because it disrespect you and yall's marriage. "
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Reply #3 - 07/24/08  12:19pm
" Oh and one more thing you are NOT a retard!!
You are a stong loving person. You have a beautiful baby together and ofcourse you stayed with him. It clear you love him or you wouldnt be hurt by his actions. Just my 2 cents "
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Reply #4 - 07/24/08  4:31pm
" Well, it is normal to want to beat yourself up. But giving someone a second chance is not being retarded. It's being kind, loving and trusting. It's the other person who is being the jerk. I will thinking about you Kris. "
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Reply #5 - 07/24/08  4:39pm
" If you are retarded then we all are retarded. I am the biggest "retard" here!!!! It is just that you want to work it out for the sake of your baby and you. You love him. I love my husband. But the real retards are our MEN! OUR MEN ARE RETARDED!!! "
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Reply #6 - 07/24/08  4:50pm
" Dear sweet girl we all beat ourselves up for not seeing what was going on etc.. so please don't call yourself names. Tell yourself what a great woman and mom you are. Write down at least one good thing about you everyday and post it where it's visable to both of you! Positive affirmation is important to build ourselves up. Don't do anything drastic re: moving yet. Ask him outright if he wants to save this marriage, then go from there. I will pray for you. Sharon "
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Reply #7 - 07/24/08  4:56pm
" I agree with what everyone above says, but if you do decide to leave he will have to pay child support so factor that into your finances. Don't let him get away with not supporting his child(ren). You should not have to shoulder the entire burden yourself. It takes two to make a baby (and usually to raise one too). You can also rent the place in Sturgeon Falls and take a less expensive apartment or sell it, split the proceeds and move on also into a less expensive place. "
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Reply #8 - 07/24/08  5:19pm
" Ok i talked to him , and he said he had no idea where it was from. And then he said to let me see it,(the note) so i did. Well he said that it was Debbie from work and that she was just joking around. That she does with everyone, but that he dont flirt back. So i called her to confrirm it. And it turns out that its true. I told her not to be doing that, that it was wrong, expecially what happened about the cheating. Even Jon thought it was really stupid of her. What idoit, she knows about how worried i am to. Geeze some ppl "
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