Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, an unmarried person who ...
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Why aren't women sorry?
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I've been reading a lot of threads here where women are trying to work on their marriages and are unsure whether or not to trust their cheating husbands. I think that is a very difficult thing to do, and have to say I admire their dedication to their families in a lot of these cases.
I've also been reading a few threads where men are dealing with their wives leaving them for someone else. None where men are trying to work things out with a cheating wife. In fact I don't think I've ever heard of such a thing in my life, and from what I've read most men (like msyelf) actually begged their wives to stay even after she cheated. Now I know there are plenty of men who just run off with the OW and don't look back as well so I'm not saying this is somehow universal. It was just something I was wondering about. Why don't most women ever feel remorse for their affairs or consider trying to work things out as an option? Posted on 07/23/08, 09:07 am |
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Women tend to get emotionally attached to the person they cheat with. As a result, they transfer their loyalty to the new, "better" man whereas men have affairs mostly for sex and don't seek that emotional connection.
I know that this is a generalization but I think it's valid. I also tried to win my wife back but she was already planning a wedding with the OM and was talking about him like he was perfect. A few weeks later I was divorced and the OM beat the crap out of my ex which cuased him to be the evil devil and I was perfect again. Funny how that works. 
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WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE GIVERS AND ALWAYS WILL BE. WE GIVE WAY MORE THAN YOU MEN DO EMOTIONALLY...SO MAYBE THEY GOT JUST SICK AND TIRED OFF GIVING AND WENT SOMEWHERE ELSE TO RECEIVE.
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I think when a woman cheats it has a lot more to do with emotional than just the physical and once they (woman and men) cross that line they have a an even harder time crossing back. Also I think its harder for a man to forgive a wife for an affair. It seems to hit harder on a man because of the pride and ego thing. Its a hell of a hit ( below the belt for the man) so I think that although the dynamics are the same and the betray is the same, men and women are just a little different in how they handle situations, Not a lot different but different. As far as the begging, I think we all do that at one point. Just my opinion
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women fall in love when they have affairs, whereas a lot of men just do it for the sex, and then still love their wives....
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Well to the Carliss1 I say that may have been the traditional role. But I really don't think it is true. Men are as invested as women in the relationship.
To the second point. My wife cheated on me for what she would say is the same reason. However cheating is not an option. If you are unhappy move on. Do it the right way. Not sneaking around back alleys. As to the original post, I tried to work it out. After the OM told her it was all for sex, suddenly I too was not as bad as before. After several years of trying I realized that I deserve better. Time to move on.
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It may be redundant, but in serious relationships, I notice women cheating because the OM makes them feel the way they wish their SO's did.
Often it's emotional, but a lot of women do it for the sex as well and then it turns into a more emotional thing. Like if you need to feel like you turn your husband on and don't, but find the OM is absolutely nutters for you, THEN combine that with how well you get along and like each other, you've convinced yourself you're with the one you really should be with now. (hope that makes sense)
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I agree with Steveng5691 its an emotional thing more than sex, but it could start with a sexual thing and lead to an emotional attachment. I don't believe that every woman is a giver.... Everyone is different every house is different and everyone has their reason. I don't think there is an excuse for cheating, but I'm sure people in their own way have their reason for doing what they do. Men and women. Sorry guys we out number you here thats why we always talk about men. In other words most of the men we know are a certain way and I know not every man is a freakin jerk.
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I agree with Mccugh when a woman cheats on her husband he does not seem to have as hard of a time picking up the pieces and going on. Whereas we women when our husband cheat we seem to have more issues.
It probably due to the difference in the chemical make up where the men are less emotional. We ladies live in an emotional world. I know this is not 100 per.cent of the cases but I too have noticed that more men seem to be willing to forgive and forget.
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Of course, I can't speak for all women, but I do agree that affairs are more emotional for women.
I think it might be symbolic for many women to throw in the towel, so to speak. I know for me, when I done, I'm done and nothing can change my mind. This experience with my H's infidelity has been a humbling one to say the least.
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Hi McCuagh,
Women feel less remorse from having an affair because generally - and I'm saying generally - a woman's affair often is the end of the road of much misery and pain. By the time it happens so much brokenness and damage has been done that they look at their husband in pain from the revelation and say "Who the hell are you??" just my perspective hugs
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