Infidelity Support Group

I prayed very hard for guidance as to the right thing to do. We went to mediation and while we were there it hit me that my boys need their dad. Despite what their dad did to me and despite how I feel about him, my children love him and need him. It was there that I decided that if my stbx was asking for 50/50 custody and wanted to be a part of the boys life, I had no right to deny him that. So, we share 50/50 custody, I don't get child support, but my kids have a chance at a relationship with their dad.

Someone once told me that I needed to keep one thing in perspective. My relationship with him was different and based on different things than the kids and his relationship was/is. Having said that. As much as i was angry, bitter, and resentful at times.. More than not. I had to make decisions concerning kids based on their love for one another. Not my bitterness, and anger. I never ever used them as a weapon. We shared custody, we alternated holidays, i have em mothers day, he has em fathers day, same with our birthdays. we even alternated Halloween trick or treating. I never fought in front of them with him, I never bad mouthed him in front of them. When they talk about him I smile and reply, short and to the point. But i remind myself that this is important to them. I found once i could do that. Arrangements like these came much easier.

I applaud you for thinking of your children first ladies. That is very unselfish of you. The kids are gonna love you for it. I wish my parents would have thought of that when I was younger. Instead they bad mouthed eachother. So we were very hurt growing up and felt very unloved. I know now it was not me, but the anger they felt towards eachother. I hope I've learned and not do that to my children.

So with 50/50 how do you divide a seven day week? What does the schedule look like.

Our 50/50 agrangement is everyother weekend and he has Tuesday and Thursday nights (that's only been for the last year, since teach night school and then I don't have to pay for child care, there's no sense to teach to pay a baby sitter)... in the summer he takes them for one week, but they always catch the school bus at my house.

With that said... we have "other" rules.. no "adult" over night "company" when the kids are there. And for any reason the schedule has to change send an email... after being divorced I learned to get everything in writing. I have to add my EX only lives 4 mile from me and the youngests school is smack between us.

I get them for Christmas and summer vacations, she gets them during the school year.

My husband and I aren't getting a divorce, but we talked about what would happen if we did. Of course,he's also verbally, emotionally and occasionally physically abusive. We decided that I would keep our son and he would have supervised visitation on weekends during the days.

My kids are young, so we do a 2-2-3 plan. 2 days with me, 2 with him, 3 with me, 2 with him, 2 with me, 3 with him. And then we do it all again. It's pretty confusing right now, but once my little one gets older we'll probably do every other week. We live relatively close to each other, so it's not too bad.