Infidelity Support Group

It still bothers me that my husband did not officially end his relationship with the OW.

He was working out of town and decided to tell me about the OW shortly before he returned home, in September. He planned to return the following spring to finish the job and without my even mentioning it, he told the client that he would have to find someone else to finish the (construction) project. He had closed up the cabin for the winter.

My H just left. The OW did not know where we lived or a phone number other than the cabin, so she had no way to contact him. My husband does not even do e-mail.

I went back a year later, long after he was supposed to have returned, to have a little talk with her (OW). As soon as I walked into her place she looked behind me and said, "Where's R?", so I know she never knew.

I made certain she understood completely before I left that day!

It angers me that he could not bring himself to say he loved his wife and did not love her and wished it had never happened. He sure as hell had no trouble speaking his mind to me!

I believe, although it was unkind to leave her without a word, he was trying to protect her or maybe just himself and could not face the reality of saying goodbye. I think he may have been afraid that he might have stayed.

My h has not ended it with ow.he sais it was because he wanted to see if the relatinhsip could work.What about our 12 year realtionship????Peoples selfishness astounds me

Peoples selfishness astounds me as well! There are ways to decide whether or not your marriage is still right for you that are humane. Another woman/man isbnt going to really make anything clearer just more confused. Just amazing, stupid, selfish, cruel and moronic!

My stbx wanted to keep his mistress as a friend. I said no. I refused to live with a constant threat over my head. We'd been married for 20 years and I felt he could make a choice. I had to make the choice. We are divorcing and the ow is gone of course.

my ex told me at one point she had"feelings"for somone online but i wasnt serious.i later found out that they had been goin hot and heavy for 2 and a half months.she lied over and over,to spare her own feelings of guilt.shes left me for him.we are better off without the close people in our lives lying to us all time.hang in there.spiralout

I have a different situation here, my husband just did one night stands, didn't stay with anybody. He just wanted the sex and the thrill of it. That is probably why I keep saying it is all about sex, because my experience is just that, that is all my husband really wanted from the experience. He didn't want another relationship, he didn't want an ongoing affair. He just wanted the sex. Is this different from most peoples experiences here?

My hs "fatal attraction" whore wont give up. She calls him at his work continually and when he doesnt answer or the secretary informs her he cant talk to her but she will take a message she tells her he knows who it is and hangs up and she just keeps trying every hour until she gets a hold him. She call the house and hangs up on me sometimes as much as 8 times in one day. I blame my H because he wont stand up to her.He says she is nuts and just ignore her. This is not working. I don't know what he has said to her but obviously it isn't enough for her to go away. he is too passive toward her. I wish I knew what it would take to make her go away and had hoped that a man in my Hs position could give me some insight on what it takes to make a woman like this let go and move on.So as to your question on do I want to know how they ended it I would have to say YES I want to know.

My H didn't actually end it. I had the rare pleasure of the OW calling my home and explaining to me what the truth was about their relationship and the fact that it was not over and she was ending it!

I actually believe him when he told me that he was also planning on ending it himself. I do not believe him when he told me about when and the way he was planning on ending it. I think he was basically simply planning to stop contacting her and allowing it to simply peter out!

At the time of her ending it, the only contact they were having was her calling him at work to see how he was doing! And I know for a fact that this is true.

He is not much of a one for being honest with the people in his life. He is doing better, but he still sometimes back pedals and minimizes what he did to me!

He texted her. Sex happened twice on 2 meetings, with no emotional attachment.. and no further date arranged to meet again. She travels around a lot for work. On the whole he is a gentleman. Told her that he had told me and that he wanted to try and salvage the relationship he so nearly ruined. Asked her not to contact him again. I did not see him do this but I have a very reliable witness. She texted back saying that now he had told me.. he looked down on her! (He might not have but I sure did!! She KNEW I existed but nothing about me or our relationship. She was Chinese and spoke very poor English). He texted back 'Please do not contact me again'. He then deleted the number.. again in front of the witness. She has not contacted since.
Huga W :)

Johanna,

If your H really wants her to stop calling, file harassment charges against her. If she continues, she will go to jail. Simple.