Infidelity Support Group

Hi Jo,
God, that makes me sick for you. He has some nerve expecting you to be okay with your kids being around this trash. I am sooo sorry you have to deal with this. I do not think you are being unreasonable. I might actually consider homicide if the skanky whore my H was with came anywhere within 500 yards of my kids. Unfortunately, I don't know if you can do anything to prevent him from taking your 18month old around her. I wish I could offer you some suggestions, but all I can do is tell you that I understand how you feel and am here if you need to talk. Hang in there.

I think if you couch it in terms of limiting the baby's contact with the OW, then you're always at risk of appearing unreasonable, or at the very least, holding a grudge.

My preferred alternative is to have my stbx limit our son's contact with anyone she's not in a serious relationship with. However you define "serious relationship" is up to the two of you to agree to, of course.

And the same rule would have to apply to you in order to be fair.

Gee, I know how you feel. Unfortunately, the law is on his side! Which really sucks!

I feel you are 100% reasonable. Your 9yr old do not want it. She or he can not forcibly make him to. And your 18month old is not yet in a position to know what she wants. So, you decide what is good for "Your Family". If she is a cancer, I would say, cut off that cancer. Let it not spread and malignate your entire family. Dont we amputate a leg that has malignant cancer? OW is should not get importance than this.

I know how you feel, before I figured it out. She (she lives across the street) has a son close in age to my son. She took them to a birthday party, and she had to rush him home because no one was watching him and his knee was cut at a place for kids???

I got sick for about 3 months and I lost 50 lbs...I wish I never moved back to CA then we would not have had these problems.

If I could I would beat the shit out of her.

You are not being unreasonable. She cant be good woman if she was with your husband while you were pregnant. I would refuse to let my baby near that bitch unless their was a court order. I am so angry thinking about that, you dont deserve that, its bad enough their is ow

unless and untill you have a court order spelling out the visitation rules I would say It is completly up to you who you allow and dont allow around your kids. No I dont think you are being unreasonable at all!!

I disagree, Johnna.

Why doesn't the children's father have a say in how the children are raised?

His desire for the children to get to know a particular person (leaving alone the fact that we're talking about the OW here) should be given equal weight as Jo's desire that they NOT know that same person.

One parent's rights don't outweight the other's until a custodial agreement says otherwise.

(Of course, I don't know what the law says in Britain.)

your right Frank, I may have misspoken on the reasonable aspect but if the shoe were on the other foot and there was another man involved that his 9 year old boy vehemently did not want to associate with, my guess would be that he would put his foot down too about allowing his kids around him. just a thought. (hey im a mother too and understand wanting to protect your kids)

Bottom line, get a Court Mediator or Attorney.