Infidelity Support Group

I dont really know where to begin with everything..id be here forever explaining our whole relationship/marriage, so ill try and explain things best I can. I been with my husband for going on 9yrs. married for going on 6yrs. While we dating I was in H.S and he was out...our relationship before marriage was not the best he would put me down alot and break up with me ALL the time then get back togeather with me few days/wks later. I know he was messing with females while we were togeather and broke up..I never knew 100% if it was physical though. He joined the Navy (without me even knowing mind you). I mean it was like one day he was living out my house then next day he was in Great Lakes Ill. for boot camp..seriously it was just like that. I didnt think I would see him again we been togeather at the point for like 4-5yrs. Words could not even explain how hurt i felt..I mean its not like I would have not wanted him to join..but to just up and leave...
Ok so while at boot camp he started writting me...everyone told me that if it was met to be we would be togeather and if he was ever going to go up and change his ways (cheating..putting me down..ect) the Navy would do that for him...so in his letters I honestly can say I thought 1000% he had changed...so weeks go by he gets out we got married. We moved to his duty station and then I find girls numbers...he claims it was before we got married so i said ok..and i tossed them. I do know he was telling the truth about them being before we got married cause I found them days after being married. So were living our life...and over time I find out he is a member of 3 that i knew for sure dating services... He said he did the dating services for porn cause on deployments they cant log onto porn sites so he got them from these dating sites...ok w/e i was extreamly hurt. Now he is out of Navy and where living back in our home town..so back in Nov07 I found a cell phone that was not working but he bought without me knowing while he was in Navy along with alot of numbers...emails...dating service stuff...he said it was all when he was in Navy not since we been back, also found condoms that had some missing (we never use condoms) again he said some shipmate of his gave them to him when the shipmate was getting detatched from ship. I had enough...I lost it was crying so upset...it was like he was getting mad at me for being upset! So he went on to tell me he never loved me..married me for the extra income the Navy offer's married ppl. said some really mean things. So i packed my stuff went to my dads, then my mother in law informs me he has a gf me met online that he married herself...we will call this girl "Betty" so i informed my husband I knew about him and "betty" and I was seriously done. I mean him and I never have split while being married so I thought it was a huge wake-up call for him that Im not kidding around. Him and I were spit for about a month and he did call me here and there to make sure I was ok then he said he didnt know what he wanted (married or not married) I was like well you need to figure it out...then he after time he said he wanted me to come home and he would not have nothing more to do with this "betty" he also kept saying that his mother was wrong about it being hs GF it was a friend, he said she was married. (his mom does tend to get things mixed up but idk) Well I come home and I log onto his email acct. (keep in mind I never do that because I dont want to live my life checking up on someone im suppose to be married to) but i log onto his acct. and seen a email he sent her the night before I came back home saying "I cant talk with you no more..I want to make my marriage work and you should do the same...ect ect" I was happy he did that. She did reply back saying "ok i understand...take care...hope things work out...dont reply to this email just wanted to say ok i understand" Ok so that was that, so i came back in dec 07 been checking his emails off and on...still no trace of "unhusbandly like" things, well today I was with his and he had his wallitte (sp?) out and i was digging through it cause I needed our atm card, he was sitting right by me while I was doing this, and on a small peice of paper there was her email. I started crying and he kept on saying that it had been in there since before I came back home...he said "You can look on my acct. I not emailed her at all nor has she" I told him he can make a new acct. and could be doing it that way..(he always thinks you have to pay extra for email's like on yahoo..hotmail.) He said "nooo im not payng extra for another email acct." Idk what to think...honestly since I came back home months ago things have been great between us..sure we have fights but its nothing major. I just need to know if I should trust him with this new thing...idk im so confused. what do you all think?
p/s. sorry this went on soooo long...just wanted to explain things so everyone understands. thanks for taking time to read it.
Posted on 06/30/08, 05:06 pm