Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, an unmarried person who ...
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Is it real or memorex-update to MIA
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Well just as i suspected he wanted to come home sunday after his weekend fling disapearance act. He called me around 8:30 to ask if he could come home.Ha wanted see if it was safe im sure. My first words to him was NO I didn't want him here and told him I didn't understand WHY he would EVEN want to come home. He said he had pulled over to the side of the road and we spent 4 and a half hours talking back and forth he asked me a lot of questions about how I felt and why I had stayed with him and for so long and what my plans hopes and dreams were for myself.This was a first for him ( mind games?) and it did get my attention. He did a lot of talking too mostly about how he felt so negative about everything not just about his life with me but negative in general with himself. I pointed out to him that is his problem and that I believed that is why he continues to do things that are unhealthy for himself and me and our marriage and that is why I cant take it anymore His actions have created too much damage for me and it is killing me mentally and physically. He said I was taking it too extreme. i said that's why i always say you have no remorse because you cant see the pain and the damage and seem to feel its a big deal.You simply cant even validate my pain. He said we need to learn how to communicate more like we are now. I said yes i agreed. {WOW SOMETHING WE AGREED ON!} I said if you want to go to counseling with me so we can learn how to communicate properly and work on you own negative feelings, you know I had offered to go with you BUT IF you say you do then you HAVE to end ALL the other relationships and cheating in order to concentrate on US or it wont work and I'm not going to waist anymore of my time on us. He agreed and said he would do it. I said OK then I will agree to you coming home. and told him I would leave the back door unlocked. He came home a little after 1 am with ice cream in hand for me.(hmm peace offering huh?) I know he wanted to make love but right or wrong I just cant give myself to him like that right now.( I dont know what real anymore) so he just held me all night. No tears no yelling or screaming. everything is on the line right now and there is no more pussyfooting around the issues.
Am I just weak or do I have a plan of action? I think its both. Posted on 06/30/08, 04:06 pm |
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If you can work it out, try. You will find out in several sessions with a therapist if it will work. Make sure you find a good one that doesn't just give lip service. Find one that believes in marriage. Mine told me she has never suggested a divorce but many do.
Good luck and hugs to you. 
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Best of luck Johnna
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Thinking of you. Good luck.
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I am where you are, dear sister. Who knows, maybe he will realize what he has, but still speak to an attorney!
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Here's hoping things start going in a positive direction. It looks like he is starting to take things seriously anyway.
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Johnna,
You have to try. Unil you just cant anymore. Good luck
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I know a man who would do the whole "I just have to get away" weekend thing, along with the tearful talk-fest returns on Sunday night.
He was with women on these weekends. Of course, he made it seem as though he was out camping, just to "get away." I'd be very careful. The weekend "I'm confused and just need to get away" thing is one of the oldest tricks in the cheating book. Knowing what I know now, I'd never let one of these men back into my house after their big disappearing acts. I truly believe that the people who do this are just jacking their partners around, and they need to be set out to pasture. They are manipulative. The best response to their drama is NO RESPONSE. Just change the locks and put a note on the door that they can take all the time they need to "get away and think."
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Wow, I don't know if I would have let him come home. My H would do this. Get his fix of the other woman and then try to cozy up to me when he was feeling guilty and realizing he fucked up again. I wish to God I had told him to stay the hell away from me until he was DONE with her, and then gone on with my life. Then when he did come back, which I am sure he would have once they got sick of each other, I would have been able to make a decision to take him back or not on my terms. Staying with them only destroys you. Its hard at first, but I would suggest that you make him demonstrate that he is committed and is giving up the other women, going to counseling, and treating you well before you let him come home. Otherwise you just let them know that they can go off and do whatever they want no matter how hurtful it is to you and then kiss your butt and you will take them back whether they follow through with the promises or not. My H promised it was over for months to keep me around. Now I realize that when he finally was done with her it was because it was what he wanted and had nothing to do with me or my feelings.
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