Infidelity Support Group

It has come my time to move on from the Infidelity portion of DS. Yesterday was the one year anniversary (06/28/2007) of my husband destroying everything I held dear to me. Mainly our marriage. I came to DS in October of 2007 and have met some awesome people. I have learned from the betrayed and the betrayers. I will forever be grateful for everyone’s insight and help with this unbelievable hurtful time.
My husband and I are trying to make our marriage work; I think there is a real good chance. My husband admitted he was wrong, there was nothing wrong with me and our marriage. It was something in him. He got an adrenaline rush doing the nasty with other woman. I had questioned him, why he had to pick nasty women to cheat with. “Because they had been easy targets with low self esteem and pretty much a guarantee lay” He regrets ever knowing the other women, as you know he had 3 affairs in our 18 years together. The first in 1994, the second in 1996, this one was also the longest, he only knew her for 30 days, can’t remember how soon he met her let alone sleep with her when he got to his TDY assignment. NOTHING after the 30 days, then in 2000 a brief meeting with NO sex. After that, only email contact, no physical contact not even hearing his voice on the phone, still she waited 10 years for him, but telling me she knew he would never leave me for her and that she knew her place. They emailed until around 2005. Other woman 3 was maybe a week long again when he was away from the family. I guess the old saying holds true here. “WHILE THE CATS AWAY THE MICE SHALL PLAY” All the nasty bits and pieces came out when OW2 started to blackmail him because he wasn’t jumping when she wanted to say hi, not realizing it wasn’t my husband she was emailing it was me. Needless to say the rest is history. I know my husband used these women for his own deceitful gratification; my new favorite saying is he tossed them out like you toss the MEAT out of the fridge when the “BEST USED BY DATE” has expired. That is how these women had been tossed. Not that I am proud of the selfishness he has proved he is capable of taking, but it has made dealing with the affairs a lot easier. It also has helped knowing he never spent one penny on any of them either.
So within this past year I realized I was getting mad at him for him doing nothing, other then the cheating in the past. I just couldn’t figure out why, and then I started writing down what I was doing and why I was so mad. I would be so mad with him after I got off of the infidelty site and read some of the postings. I had always thought my husband was special and unique and I was so blessed to have him. After reading the postings of other hurt betrayed partners I came to realize he is not that special man I thought I had. He was just the same as any other cheater, like they have all been cloned. I made a conscious decision that I needed to leave the site in order to work on us.
I can’t quit cold turkey just yet so I will check my messages( maybe even reply if someone post on this one here) and I will go to “REBUILDING MARRIAGE AFTER INFIDELTY” I hope all find peace and happiness within your selves and your marriage and relationships go the way you want. GOOD LUCK to everyone.
Always, Tearful ?
Posted on 06/29/08, 09:06 pm