Infidelity Support Group

I have thought not about all out cheating but texting someone who liked me years ago and told me he wanted to be with me while I was married. I have thought about doing it because I want him to get a taste of the pain. Every time I have put down the phone and decided against it. I want to come out of this thing a better stronger person with or without my H. I just do not want to become what I hate.

Althought it is tempting!!

That won't solve anything if you do it for the wrong reason. Why be with someone else if you're only thinking what it will do to your husband or wife?

It's soooo natural to think about it. But it will change who you are.

If you cheat for revenge, it still doesn't change the fact that you were hurt by his cheating.

He will still not know what it feels like to have the rug pulled out from under him and be a faithful spouse who is doing everything right and then be lied to and manipulated.

If you two are trying to work it out, it will only bring more people into the mix and cause another problem for the two of you to solve.

I think it's natural to feel that way and to want him to truely understand how you feel right now. Unfortunately, he will never know how it feels.

When the initial fall out happened, I couldn't even see straight never mind have eyes for someone else! Afterward, when the pain was really raw, I did consider it--and had an opportunity to. Of course, I passed. It's just not me. I can't pretend to be someone I am not and if I did, I am sure I would be dealing with those consequences on my soul far longer than the ones my H left for me.

I look at it this way, one event changed the course of my life--I don't want another to take control either.

At the end of the day--I have no black stains there on me...ones Ican't make peace with.

-Jax

I think its only normal to want them to feel the pain they inflicted on us. I relly thought about, even threw it in his a face by saying things like. "Maybe Sometimes I feel like I just want a good strang f^%&k too and how would you like it if I just went on line and got me a boyfriend on the side too? I could make love with him all afternoon right here in our bed." But I soon relized by his reactions he might just wish that I would cheat, atleast then he would feel let off the hook for his cheating. (Not exactly the reaction I was looking for)Besides I could not ever do it and still respect myself. I suspect he knows that too. Darn it!

I agree with Kristi425... I will not be the same pain that was brought on to you and me for that matter. The pain of being faithful and trusting and having the rug pulled out from under you. It will bring some relief to your H because how can you be so angry with him when YOU also F'd around. I agree it can be a tempting idea for revenge, but you will only hurt yourself. Don't cheapen yourself. Hold your head high because you still have a moral core. If you aren't going to end up with your H then move on with the peace of knowing you did what you could for your marriage.

Hehe

All I have to say is the fun would be short lived. You'd give up all moral high ground. I actually told my SO to do it if he wanted to hurt me but to never mention my cheating again. Needless to say he didn't do it.

i think about it all the time but he told me that if i cheat he knows that i would just do it for revenge, so i was like damn i can't even get you back and make you feel my pain with out you finding a way to downplay it. to be honest i know me falling in love with someone else would hurt him a hell of a lot more than me just having sex with someone.