Infidelity Support Group

You are not overreacting. She should not be seeing these people anymore.

You are not overreacting. She needs to cut ALL contact with the OM and she needs to stop hanging with the people who knew about it all and didn't respect YOU enough to tell you. I wouldn't budge on this. She either has to do it or get the hell out.

You are not over reacting... your wife is being insensitive and cruel. You do have the right to demand no contact with these people and if she truly wants her marriage to work she will cut all ties. Best of luck, I hope things get better for you.

She may not see how she's being unfair, but I really think you are not overreacting.

There was a time when I'd disagree... but not anymore. The key is to somehow either get her to understand or buckle up and tell her you go because you can't trust her around these people due to what has occured in the past. I'm pretty sure she'll cave and not go at that point and if she does... I'd have to side w/ the fact that not only is she rude, she's totally self absorbed and self centered.

Well, that's my 2 cents.

Totally ironic this advice coming from me. I used to do this to my SO all the time. Never Ever agian though!

Did these people know, or did they condone and enable the situation, hang out with them together, etc...?

I found out that my SO's family friend was the one that suggested he see the OW who was new to town. She sent an email with the OW's picture and gave him her contact number. Clearly this disgusting friend was the instigator, she disrespected me and my relationship. Yet I was spending the holidays in her home, go figure.

I demanded that he call the friend and let her know their friendship was over. He fought me on this, claiming all the blame was his. I agree of course. All the blame was him. But I would never allow him to continue a friendship with someone that clearly didn't support me and our relationship. He cut off all connections, which has been an enormous relief to me.

I still cringe everytime a family function arises and I wonder is his sister will invite the family friend. However, I think the sister knows what happened and wouldnt invite her. Also, I think this friend is probably a little afraid to see me, because I will always stand up for myself.

So did your wife's friend help create the mess, or was it simply that the friend knew but didn't tell? If so, the friend might have felt trapped.

Otherwise, I'd demand the friendship to stop. Your wife owes her loyalty to you. And you should NEVER, NEVER, EVER be made to feel so sad again as she walks out the door and leaves you behind. NO WAY! YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT! I hope you can stand up for yourself, you deserve it. Who cares if she lost a friend - it is HER fault, not yours. You lost alot more than a friend and have to deal with that every single day. I wish you well.

I absolutely agree with everything said here. You've made obvious steps to work on your relationship--she needs to prove to you that she's serious as well. You're working so hard on your marriage...as the cheater, she needs to step up and prove to you that things will change.

P.S. In regards to waiting for your wife to stop spending time with these people, patience doesn't work. I waited for my husband to stop contacting these other women and he never did until I made it clear that I wouldn't allow it any more. It's her task to demonstrate that you can trust her--and right now, she's doing the exact opposite.

You are right on this one. She is being totally insensitive and a bitch in her attitude. These people are not friends to your marriage and that is what she needs to realize. She also needs to decide where her loyalties are. They should not be with "friends" her loyalties need to be with you. Good luck. Give her a little time if you still love her but don't give it forever.

again you are not over reacting I add my vote she should cut all contact with those people it just enables to to fall again. if you want to continue in the marriage you all need your own set of friends. I am with the rest stand up for your self. you are worth it and to let her keep on doing just what she wants it putting more and more into depression.

She needs to concentrate on YOU and HER and your lives together and making the marriage work. She is still in her little fog and can't see what it's doing to you. She needs to break off contact with those 'friends'. NO questions asked. Sounds like she may still be in her 'selfish' stage to see what she's doing. Either that or she just doesn't care.

I don't mean to make that sound harsh but it sounds like it's still 'all about her'.

Hang in there. "HUGS"

YOU ARE NOT BEING SELFISH THATS FOR SURE...SHE NEEDS TO FOCUS ON THE BOTH OF YOU ..